This was published 8 years ago
Bronwyn Bishop helicopter to Geelong: A bargain compared to these private flight options
By Lee Tulloch
Federal MP Bronwyn Bishop got into a little bit of trouble over a helicopter recently. $5227 worth of trouble.
She apologised, not for taking luxury transport to a Liberal party fundraiser in the first place, but for her 'grandiosity'. Even in the murky world of political entitlements, this indeed was rather grand, although a few wags have suggested that a Speaker of the House of Representatives might have been happier in a gilded coach with white horses.
But that's so 19th Century. These days, the elite traveller looks to private jets and super yachts for hurtling around the world, even if it's only from Melbourne to Geelong.
Hop aboard Roman Abramovich's 'Eclipse', an $800 million 528-foot craft with 70 crew and 24 guest rooms, two helipads and a mini submarine.Credit: Getty Images
Really, Madame Bishop could have done so much better. She's letting the side down.
Use of private jets is booming in India and Asia and, apart from the odd mining billionaire and casino developer, we're a bit behind the times in Australia, so there's a chance for our politicians to show us how it is done.
But Bronnie's short flight in a 'luxury' craft seems positively bargain basement compared to the US$500 million Airbus A380 Prince Alwaleed bin Talal Al Saud used to get around in, with its two-car garage, stable for horses and camels and prayer room that rotates to face Mecca, reportedly the most expensive private jet in the world.
Or there's the unnamed owner of Boeing's VIP 747 jumbo jet, which you can take a look around yourself in the gallery above.
Donald Trump, trying unsuccessfully not to be outdone, has a 'smaller' private plane, a Boeing 757 valued at about $100 million, but he's lavished it with 24-carat gold plating - on the faucets, on the safety belt hardware, even on the seat recliner buttons. He's got a $7 million helicopter as a pet.
Russian billionaire and owner of Chelsea Football Club, Roman Abramovich, has a customised 767-300 with the same missile avoidance system as Airforce One and room for 30 seated dinner guests. (Airforce One cost the US taxpayer $300 million.)
Oprah Winfrey has a $42 million Bombardier Global Express with soothing all leather interiors and Jim Carrey has a $59 million Gulfstream V which flies nearly as fast as sound (hopefully faster than his jokes.) John Travolta and Tom Cruise pilot themselves in their multiple Gulfstreams. Travolta, as we all know, actually has a Qantas jet to himself.
I've been looking around at good deals and there are a few companies that offer various ways that our politicians might fly high on a budget. BlackJet offers up to 80 per cent off a seat on someone else's plane for a $US5000 annual membership (the cost of one helicopter ride.) JetSmarter gets you and a group of friends on an empty charter return trip for a $US8499 annual membership. UK-based Victor lets you book a flight directly from your phone, with no annual membership fee. Empty-leg trips go from $US1500; charters from $US25,000.
If these prices are still a bit beyond the taxpayer budget, perhaps sailing from Melbourne to Geelong might work?
The super-rich love nothing more than a yacht, even more than their private jets, I suspect. Hop aboard Abramovich's Eclipse, an $800 million 528-foot craft with 70 crew and 24 guest rooms, two helipads and a mini submarine. Another feature is the anti-paparazzi shield, which may prove very handy in Australian waters.
Or perhaps Bishop could hitch a ride on Al Said, the yacht of Oman's Sultan Qaboos, which takes 70 passengers and 154 crew and has a concert hall suitable for large orchestras? (Bring Arts Minister George Brandis on board too - he might find it 'excellent'.)
But maybe the idea of boats that aren't 'leaky' is too hard?
Let's think about cars. Now, we don't want to go to Geelong in a car. But I'm worried about all those $1000-a-day luxury limousines in Europe. I'm afraid that they were probably just ordinary old black cars. Why not quadruple the cost and the hotness factor by hiring a sunflower yellow Lamborghini LP560-4 Spyder for almost $4000 a day? I bet Madame Bishop would have gotten the job of president of the Inter-Parliamentary Union if she had chosen to arrive in one of those.
With the Prime Minister resolutely cycling about in lycra and Madame Speaker hitching rides in frankly low-rent choppers, we're sending a bad message to the rest of the world.
Why not solve a couple of curly problems in one and have South Australia build a Speaker's submarine with Australian flags emblazoned all over it? You'd be able to get ten flags on that for sure.
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