Flying with babies: Why I'm not giving out 'apology treats' to passengers around me

I see you, fellow traveller. You, with the magazines or tablet, sipping your Starbucks or ordering a Bloody Mary from the flight attendant. I, too, was once like you. Once upon a time, a flight meant time unplugged from Instagram and work emails. Perhaps even a solo viewing of a movie that my spouse would definitely veto.

I'd pack my two carry-on bags in precise science, even for weeklong trips, no need to check a bag. I'd wear my effortless travel outfit with chic boots and breeze through to my gate.

Then, I became a mother.

A yoga pants, stained shirt-wearing mama travelling with an infant. And to those who are not in the trenches of caring for a small human who have read about that cute trend of parents sharing little bags of apology-treats for neighbours on the plane, here are all of the reasons why you won't be getting one from me.

(A quick note: Bless the parents who pack up little ear-plugs-and-candy packets in snack-sized plastic bags for the passengers around them. You are considerate and kind, and my reasons hold no judgement for your generosity.)

My first reason: I have already done all the packing for the large camping-trip-in-motion that is travelling with a baby. It includes what my fellow passengers truly need: Everything to contain a diaper disaster. I have packed all the things to contain the smell, the possible seepage and the close-quarter liabilities of a dirty nappy. Trust me, you'd much rather my attention is spent there.

Second, if I'm packing any snacks, it's the little teething wafers that make my little one look like a baby otter eating from tiny baby paws. Doesn't that melt your heart faster than any chocolate I could hand out?

We've all been around that traveller who is making their bad day everyone else's bad day and there's not a goody bag around that could change their mood (I'm looking at you, Mr. Unnecessarily Loud Man on the Palm Springs to Dallas-Fort Worth flight who was intent on sharing his displeasure about my baby's presence by declaring "I hope it sleeps" to everyone on the plane).

Before I give a treat to someone averse to crying, may I also recommend banning movies like Secret Life of Bees from the airline entertainment options, because this grown woman did plenty of airplane sobbing on its viewing, no baby required.