London: Pretentious Shoreditch hipster venues where you need a moustache wax to enter

London's first "board game café" was opened in a converted railway arch in Hackney (natch) in November 2014, and was funded on Kickstarter (natch). Customers pay £5 ($A9) to have unlimited access to a collection of over 600 board games.

The hipster Spar

In most towns, the local Spar is stocked with cans of Rubicon and Ginsters pasties – not so in Hackney. The Eat17 Spar, located in a former Art Deco cinema, has its own burger bar serving craft beer, a "refillable wine station" and artisanal florist.

Lady Dinah's Cat Emporium

London's first cat café is so popular that it is almost impossible to get a table without booking months in advance, and looking at pictures of the furry friends who inhabit the tea room, any cat lover can understand why the concept might be tempting. Still, it says a lot about quality of life in London when harried workers are willing to pay money to hang out with domestic pets.

Bar Kick

Foosball is the name of the game here – expect to find wall-to-wall table football tables and craft beer, plus the chance to join the, er, "Kick Babyfoot Association".

Ziferblat

This "treehouse for adults" truly is the quintessence of all that is hipster. Opened in 2014, Ziferblat, meaning "clockface" was London's first "pay-per-minute café". Patrons may help themselves to unlimited food and drink, but will be forking out 3 pence a minute to become a "micro tenant" of the space. Go if you want to be surrounded by people pretending to work their MacBooks, but actually playing Minesweeper. ​

The Breakfast Club

On any given Saturday or Sunday, you will see dozens of people queuing to get in here, often in the freezing cold. No fry-up is that good.

Zigfried von Underbelly

In case the name doesn't convince you of the venue's inane hipster credentials, ZvU describes itself as a "quirky take on traditional pub with totem pole, crazy mismatched chairs and surfboards on the roof". Sounds kerrr-azy. We'll stick with the traditional take on a traditional pub.

Shoreditch Grind

Confusingly, this suggestively-named coffee joint (with upstairs recording studio) is not located in Shoreditch proper, but on Old Street roundabout. It attracted the attention of Reddit users last year when its signage was described by one poster as "probably the most Shoreditch thing ever". No comment.

London Fields BBQ area

This slice of East London park is the perfect intersection of Brits going mad for the least sign of sunshine and hipster enthusiasm. In summer, expect to see clusters of trendy types hunched over disposable barbecue sets, cooking four burgers at a time for a group of 12. Totally al-fresco cool – except it leaves the ground scorched and park visitors choking on smoke.

Burger Bear

You know a burger joint is seriously hip when the name of its HQ is preceded by a hashtag; #MagicRoundabout, or the Old Street branch of this gourmet burger chain, promises to keep "the disco pumping, the Q dancing and the burgers flowing." The burgers do look flipping good though...

Avo-Brunch Pop-Up

The avocado has over three million posts on Instagram, and even Tesco is now selling ready peeled and de-stoned frozen avocados. Who knew? These guys apparently.

The Telegraph, London