Parisian style ... Alex Virag behind the wheel of his Citroen 2CV.Credit: Richard Jinman
Alex Virag says the mere sight of a Citroen 2CV is enough to make many Parisians smile, and he's right. Driving down a narrow street in our curvy, cream-coloured convertible with bright red seats, we pass a middle-aged woman on a bicycle. The car makes her do something unusual for a grown-up Parisian: she giggles like a lovestruck schoolgirl. "Ah, ma jeunesse!" she exclaims.
Virag, my 26-year-old guide, turns to me from the driver's seat. "It was her first car – her youth," he explains seriously. He toots the 2CV's horn, a sound resembling a frog with laryngitis. "You are still young, madam!" he shouts in flirty, heavily accented English. The woman blushes and waves madly, her bike charting an increasingly wobbly course down the street.
The 2CV, for the uninitiated, is France's answer to the Austin Mini or the Volkswagen Beetle. It was designed in the 1930s by Pierre-Jules Boulanger to a utilitarian brief: a vehicle capable of transporting two people and 100 kilograms of farm goods at 60km/h across muddy and unpaved roads if necessary. The result might have been a Gallic brick. Instead, it was a curvaceous, deceptively simple car with Bauhaus-inspired bodywork and a canvas-sunroof. Its name referenced its modest horsepower rating – deux chevaux vapeur means "two steam horses" – and it quickly became an icon.
Between 1948 and 1990, Citroen built more than 3.8 million 2CVs. They were once ubiquitous in France and popular in Britain – the 1980s star Lloyd Cole wrote a song about a girl who drove one – because of their low cost and eccentric retro style. But times change. The cars have become something of a rarity in Paris and well-maintained vehicles command increasingly high prices among aficionados.
One of several companies offering 2CV tours around the French capital is 4 Roues Sous 1 Parapluie – a name that plays on the 2CV's nickname "the umbrella on wheels". You can choose your route from the company's menu or make up your own. Virag, who collects me from my hotel near the Arc de Triomphe, suggests we mix it up. The Friday traffic will pose certain "probleems" he says, but we will see familiar landmarks and parts of Paris only Parisians know well.
I lower myself into the car – an immaculate 1977 model – and onto a seat with the consistency of an overstuffed sofa. Virag fires up the engine and we pull out into heavy Champs-Elysees traffic propelled by what sounds like an overwrought sewing machine. Cobblestones shake the car and I grip the rudimentary seat belt even tighter.
My driver wears a jaunty cap, a shirt with the collar turned up and what looks suspiciously like a cravat. It's an '80s boy-band look that could get you killed in certain Australian hotels but worn behind the wheel of a 2CV on the Champs-Elysees, it makes perfect sense. As modern Citroens and Peugeots dart around us, Virag explains, rather unnecessarily, that one needs to be "cool and patient" to drive an antique car in the Parisian rush hour.
"Drivers here are rude, angry and fast," he observes as a BMW flashes past my door. "But they drive well – much better than in Toulouse."
We swing left, off the Champs-Elysees onto ritzy Rue du Faubourg Saint Honore. The 2CV corners like a 600-kilogram blamanche but it's not an unpleasant sensation once you get used to it. Virag points out the Elysee Palace, home to Nicolas Sarkozy and his third wife, Carla Bruni. There's Cartier, here's Hermes. It's a clear day, the car's roof is wide open. It's wonderful looking up at the sky and the passing streetscape.
Driving a rudimentary convertible has its downsides, of course. "Sometimes when it rains you have water at your feet," says my guide cheerfully. "You go splish, splash. But it's OK."
A business and tourism graduate, Virag proves an amiable companion. I marvel at his ability to swerve around pedestrians while pointing out the finer details of the Place Vendome or the Pompidou Centre ("a lot of people hate zis building") in his second language. Tugging and twisting the gear stick – a lever topped with a billiard ball that protrudes from the dashboard – he navigates easily through the city's backstreets.
Virag offers his views on Bertrand Delanoe, Paris's openly gay mayor. "E is socialist but very popular," he says. "E 'as done a lot for Paris."
Delanoe's achievements include the furious washing of public monuments. Notre Dame, for example, gleams like ivory.
But away from the tourist hotspots, the quieter streets of the fashionable Marais district and the Latin Quarter retain the patina of grime that gives Paris its urbane edge.
In one of these streets – Rue de Verneuil – we find a pop culture shrine: the house once occupied by Serge Gainsbourg and his English partner and muse, Jane Birkin. It's hard to miss. Thousands of fans have covered the walls with tributes to France's great singer, songwriter and libertine who died of a heart attack in 1991 and whose funeral brought Paris to a standstill.
The traffic is thickening now. After forcing our way through a line of gridlocked cars on the Boulevard Saint-Germain – "that was crazy," admits Virag – we decide to call it a day. In less than three hours, we have driven through much of central Paris and found time for a couple of stops.
Virag pulls up to the kerb outside my hotel. We shake hands and say goodbye.
Just before he drives away he glances at the mirror, adjusts his cap and tugs his collar to the required angle. This is Paris, after all, and standards must be maintained.
Richard Jinman travelled courtesy of Etihad Airways and Rail Europe.
FAST FACTS
Etihad flies to Paris via Abu Dhabi for about $1850 (low-season return from Melbourne and Sydney, including tax.) The author travelled from London to Paris on the Eurostar, taking about 2 hours, from €68 ($110) one-way.
4 Roues sous 1 Parapluie has a fleet of cars and a range of tours to suit your budget, time and familiarity with Paris, or will create a bespoke itinerary. For a quick hit, the 30-minute Paris to Champs-Elysees tour takes in tourist hot spots such as the Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower and Les Invalides, from €19 a person with three people in the car to €58 if you're alone. See 4roues-sous-1parapluie.com.
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