Rolling on the river: Cruising on the American Empress

The chandeliers on American Empress sway ever so slightly as the ship heaves along the mighty Columbia River, occasionally emitting a genteel tinkle, as if someone has run their fingers along the high keys of a piano. Out on the forward deck, trim white rocking chairs creak and nod. At the back of the ship, a great red paddlewheel turns with a rumble straight out of the history books. Its incessant somersaulting is mesmerising, flinging up water drops that glitter in the sunlight like tumbling diamonds.

I'm journeying down the Snake and Columbia rivers of the American frontier, and there couldn't be a better ship on which to do it. True, American Empress isn't actually driven by steam. Its two black funnels never puff smoke, and the great red paddle is more for show than locomotion. Still, I feel as if I'm in a movie: Maverick, perhaps, whose steamboat scenes were filmed on the Columbia River. My ship looks the part, with its lacy white balconies and flapping American flags. I expect to see gunslingers and corseted madams in the lounge.

The interior decor, completely refurbished in 2013, is a riot of gaudy Victoriana, all clashing carpets and wallpaper and delightful paintings of the Old West in gilt frames. Ceilings are pressed tin, lampshades properly frosted, brassware aglow. Black-and-white photos lining the corridor walls show old river steamers and ladies in crinolines posing against wild, romantic landscapes. In the lounge of an evening, the piano player tinkles the ivories with frontier tunes from the playbooks of yesteryear. Evening shows feature magic tricks and a singing cowboy. Yes, the Old West theme on American Empress gets a little carried away, but I'm loving it. Steamboat travel has a long history on this river, and it makes me feel as if I'm travelling in time as well as space.

Actually, the Victoriana theme falters in places. Oddly, the outdoor furnishings are rather contemporary and The Grill alternative restaurant has drab decor that would rival a three-star eighties motel. Cabins have some old-fashioned charm (glass lamps, flocked wallpaper, writing desk) but I'm happy with the espresso machine and doonas, too. Only the en-suite disappoints in its plastic-moulded, somewhat cramped presentation.

My cabin (number 205) is roomy enough and has two upright chairs that might suit Victorian spinsters. I prefer the more comfortable wooden armchairs on my balcony, where anyway I often want to be to in order to admire the passing scenery and gawk through the thoughtfully provided binoculars at eagles and herons. This is a good cabin to have, since not every cabin category has balconies, and those on the top deck have patios that open onto public space where ladies in Lycra are doing their morning deck laps. The location of these topmost cabins and adjacent The Grill prevents American Empress from having the wide-open top decks I'm used to on European river cruises, but guests can still walk around the circumference of the ship for exercise and scenery.

Passengers on this epic journey are nearly all American and retired – there are no facilities for children on the ship – and perhaps not as well travelled as the cruise passengers you meet in Europe. The dress code is rather relaxed; no shorts, T-shirts or sandals in the evening, but otherwise what the Americans call 'country-club casual' suffices. There are two seatings in the main restaurant, and later diners tend to more dressiness and cocktails, but there are no formal nights.

Breakfast and lunch can be had buffet style at The Grill or a la carte in the main dining room. The Grill is the reservations-only restaurant in the evening, but strangely the atmosphere is more relaxed, the service less formal and the décor more downmarket than the main restaurant. The Grill does, however, dish up good steaks and huge lobster tails.

In the main Astoria restaurant, evening meals unfold over four courses, generally starting with a soup (tomato-basil bisque, cream of mushroom), then invariably fresh salad, before a choice of three main courses and selection of desserts. It's decent, mainstream but somewhat uninventive dining: though I'm never disappointed nor surprised, I'm never really wowed either. But the food is good, and features many fresh ingredients from the Washington and Oregon states we're sailing through, which makes the salads – not to mention the breakfast berries, which I devour like a bear – a standout.

I often skip the soup and go easy on the mains, because the desserts are generous and feature American home-comfort dishes such as giant hunks of apple pie ('Cream with that?'), cherry cobbler and hummingbird cake, a cinnamon-flavoured banana and pineapple cake from the southern USA. Wine and beer is complimentary during meals, but pay-as-you go at other times. It's a pity mealtime drinks are light on local wines, which are excellent, but the ship's bar stocks some interesting Oregon gin, vodka and rum.