Entirely appropriate ... Daniel Radcliffe goes nude in Equus.Credit: Reuters
It was the day before the start of The Last Family Holiday and all I wanted to do was stab them to death. The kids were driving me crazy and I feared my dream of a happy family holiday with my son, just post-HSC, and my daughter, just pre-HSC, was going wrong even before it began.
On the plane, a young woman asked me to hold her baby son, Jack, while she popped into the bathroom.
I patted his back, smiled at his adorable little face and glanced lovingly at my own Jack, all long and lanky and slightly grotty in that 18-year-old sort of way.
This would be the best family holiday ever, even if it killed me, I vowed silently.
What you need after the long haul to NYC is a good bathroom and a comfy bed. Midtown's historic Roosevelt Hotel ticked both boxes.
Built in 1924, the Roosevelt takes up a full city block and in its post-World War II glory days it was the place to be seen, favoured for society weddings and other big events.
In 1948, Governor Thomas Dewey, ensconced in the Roosevelt's Grand Ballroom, wrongly announced he had defeated Harry Truman for the presidency. Ouch.
Despite being a huge operation the hotel named after President Ted has more than 1000 rooms, including around 50 suites the Roosevelt and its staff are warm. In fact, at times the building was a little too warm, even though it was freezing outside.
The Roosevelt's glitzy Christmas glamour was a sight for our travel-sore eyes but its real strength lies in its fabulous location right opposite Grand Central Station.
With our $US25 ($31) a week Metrocards, we hit the tourist hot spots.
We checked out Lady Liberty (those chunky arms made us wonder if the French were having a go when they gave her to the US) and Ellis Island, where 12 million newcomers from all over the world began their new lives.
We went up the Empire State Building in fog (not recommended), travelled to the Top of the Rock (Rockefeller Centre) on a clear day (highly recommended even when it's -2 degrees) and toured the headquarters of the United Nations.
Value-for-money CityPasses ($US79 for adults) gave us easy access to six popular attractions including the Metropolitan Museum of Art (allow a full day if you can the kids loved it too); the Guggenheim (really freaky, weird stuff but a nice building); the Museum of Modern Art and the famed American Museum of Natural History.
It also got us onto a Circle Line cruise around the Hudson and East rivers. The commentary was terrific and the cruise really helped us get our bearings.
Right next door to the ferry wharf is the Sea, Air and Space Museum on the retired aircraft carrier, Intrepid, where Republican presidential candidate John McCain is just one of the boys as its former crew reflect on their glory days in a short movie.
This museum is not included in the CityPass but is well worth the $US19.50 admission fee.
In an attempt to defuse potential blues over my daughter's incessant desire to shop and my son's determination not to set foot inside a shop, I allocated one whole day to be set aside for intensive retail therapy.
We jumped on a bus at the Port Authority Terminal and headed to Woodbury Common, a cute retail village where premium fashion houses including Giorgio Armani, Burberry, Jimmy Choo and Salvatore Ferragamo, and wardrobe stalwarts like Reebok, Nine West and Gap sell their clothes, shoes and accessories at massive discounts.
There are great bargains (my son looked pretty schmick in a $US700 Armani suit) but what's even better is that it's all fairly civilised you actually get served and don't have to rummage through a lot of rubbish to find something good.
No NYC holiday would be complete without a big sporting event. Luckily for us, the Knicks were playing the Milwaukee Bucks at Madison Square Garden, so we got to see Aussie giant Andrew Bogut lumbering up and down the basketball court while the visitors gave the home side a thrashing.
"Go Milwaukee," we whispered, urging our countryman to victory.
The basketball tickets were the dearest I bought at $450 over the net from home, they were far dearer than great seats at Wicked (also bought before we left) and miles dearer than the other shows on sale at the half-price booth in Times Square.
That's where the kids got tickets to see Harry Potter, aka Daniel Radcliffe, in the buff in and where they looked down their noses at me when I giggled. "The nudity was entirely appropriate," they snorted.
Suddenly, we were on our way back home. It was Christmas Day and an American woman on our flight introduced her son, Jack Henry, to the stewardess.
Young Jack Henry, who looked about seven, wanted to know if the pilot had spotted Santa.
The stewardess checked for him. The pilot couldn't be entirely sure he had seen Santa but he said he did see a bright red streak across the sky.
The boy smiled knowingly and his mum gave his shoulders a squeeze.
I glanced at my Jack, now with a three-day growth, sprawled and sleeping.
Resisting the urge to sweep him up in a hug and declare my devotion in a way that would make him recoil, I merely patted his hand and choked back the tears.
The writer received assistance from The Roosevelt Hotel and NYC & Company.
TRIP NOTES
Qantas flies to New York City daily. Return fares for flights departing between November 1 and December 9 are $2344, plus taxes. Return adult fares between December 10 and December 31 cost $3115, plus taxes.
A $US25 ($32) MetroCard gives unlimited rides on buses and trains for a week. A $US79 CityPass (adults) gives easy access to the main attractions (where you buy the passes), including the Empire State Building.
One-bedroom suites - which sleep four comfortably - at the Roosevelt Hotel in Midtown start at $US479 a night. On the Upper West Side, the Beacon Hotel has one-bedroom apartments for about $US370 a night.
See nycgo.com.
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