Tips for travelling with friends: Sleep, money and plenty of patience

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This was published 6 years ago

Tips for travelling with friends: Sleep, money and plenty of patience

By Sue Williams
Travelling with friends can bring joy and pain.

Travelling with friends can bring joy and pain.

They're the best of travel companions, and the worst. When British comedians Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon came together for their third cult movie, The Trip, this time wandering through Spain, following previous sojourns around England and Italy, they knew they'd laugh together, compete against each other, bitch, argue, sulk and, hopefully, make up again in time for a happy ending.

"We play it more like a married couple," says Coogan, 51, who also co-wrote, produced and starred in the movie Philomena, which brought him two Oscar nominations, something he reminds Brydon, 52, of at every opportunity.

"We have moments where we agree about things and moments where we're a bit tetchy, so we just try to give it some colour with light and shade, and sometimes I make Rob laugh," he says. "But I'm the more cantankerous one and he's more flippant – although we exaggerate these things quite a lot."

Sharing the view with a friend.

Sharing the view with a friend.Credit: Getty Images

The pair's first road trip together, through northern England, where Coogan was asked to write a series of restaurant reviews for the British newspaper, The Observer, became a BBC TV series and then the hit movie, The Trip, in 2010. Their next, through Italy, became The Trip to Italy in 2014. Now their third, The Trip to Spain is out in Australia on August 3.

Ask anyone who has travelled with a friend, and there will be stories of great highs and tremendous lows. After travelling with one friend, I didn't speak to him again for years afterwards. It was only when we shared a tent that I discovered he suffered from terrifying nightmares. I'd wake in fright in the middle of the night to hear him yelling about snakes in the tent, or spiders, or an intruder.

It was probably extreme tiredness that contributed to our subsequent series of terrible rows, ending with me marching out of the tent one night (if only you could slam a tent door!), and not seeing him for eight years. Three other close friends I travelled with as a penniless student were never as close again afterwards, following countless arguments about where to go next, money, accommodation, food and drink.

Then there was the colleague who discovered to his horror that his friend ate with his hands – even fried egg. He started arriving early for breakfast so he didn't have to watch a "full English" turned into finger food every morning. And I shan't even mention the mate who discovered, only after sharing a hotel room through Europe, that a close friend was actually a closet alcoholic who could hide it in her daily life at home, but became a monster away. But there are plenty of friends out there who manage to travel together successfully. We ask them how.

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THE FRIENDS

Deb Withers, TV producer and media advisor, travels with arts publicist Prue Bassett, both from Melbourne

We went to Turkey and its islands and the Greek island Santorini, a cruise from Venice around the Greek islands, Croatia and back to Italy, and to Bali.

WHY DO YOU TRAVEL TOGETHER?

It's great to share the experiences, the joys and even the disasters. It's wonderful to have someone to laugh with about everything.

HOW SIMILAR – AND DIFFERENT – ARE YOU?

We have a similar sense of humour and love laughing all the time, and we both drink far too much when we go away together. We both also love shopping, although we've nearly fallen out twice – once over a black skirt we both wanted to buy, another time over a piece of gorgeous silk. Now we have a rule: whoever sees something first, gets it. But she likes to spend money on eating in classy restaurants, while I prefer to eat more cheaply and buy shoes.

WHAT WAS YOUR BEST TIME TOGETHER?

On the cruise, we decided to make a film together, called Prue's Cruise. It was all about Prue's search for the captain, so we'd ask all the Italian crew members, "Are you the captain?" "Are you the captain?" They all joined in and thought it was hilarious too.

AND YOUR WORST TIME?

Our mutual love of shopping, as well as leading to fights, nearly cost us that cruise. We got distracted by a jewellery shop in Venice, then we jumped on the wrong vaporetto to get to the ship and were stranded on the Lido. We only made it by the skin of our teeth – and a 70 Euro 500m water taxi ride.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST TIP FOR MAKING A TRIP WITH A FRIEND WORK?

Never share a room! I'm a light sleeper and Prue sleeps very soundly so that doesn't work. And we both like our own space. Also, set down some ground rules first about your priorities for spending money, and time: food vs drink, shoes vs food …

WILL YOU GO AWAY AGAIN – AND, IF SO, WHERE?

Definitely! We'd both like to do a Midsomer Murders [British TV show] driving tour of the UK, staying in idyllic little villages along the way, talking to everyone we meet and behaving generally like 25-year-olds.

THE FRIENDS

Civil engineer Greg Packer, travels with retired town clerk Stuart Macpherson. Greg's from Brisbane; Stuart from Grafton, NSW

Greg Packer (left) and Stuart McPherson in Luang Prabang marketplace, Laos

Greg Packer (left) and Stuart McPherson in Luang Prabang marketplace, Laos

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER?

We been on cycling trips along the Mekong River from Laos to Cambodia, another through Sri Lanka, a kayaking holiday in Laos and walking trips to the UK and to New Zealand.

WHY DO YOU TRAVEL TOGETHER?

If you go by yourself, you might end up surrounded by strange people, as there's plenty of them in the world. But if you're with a friend, and you go somewhere lovely, it's great to be able to share it. You have someone to turn to and say, 'Isn't that nice?' or 'That's fantastic!' or 'That's a bit unusual!'

HOW SIMILAR – AND DIFFERENT – ARE YOU?

We met through mutual friends on a World Expeditions trip and we are similar. We both like cycling – and I organise some cycling trips now with World Expeditions – we're the same age, we can go away together as both our wives like different things, and we love seeing different cultures in places less travelled. We also laugh a lot which is important when you're out of your comfort zone.

WHAT WAS YOUR BEST TIME TOGETHER?

We did a home stay in a village just across the border into Cambodia, which was so remote, we had to get a boat to it. The people were very poor and they rolled out a mat on the floor for us to sleep on and we thought we'd never get any sleep on that. They had no furniture and just cooked us tea on a gas fire on the floor. But it was a wonderful meal, and such lovely people. They were so poor but so hospitable; it was a wonderful experience to share.

AND YOUR WORST TIME?

We tend to laugh when things get difficult, which works well. But I've travelled with other people who get stressed when they're tired at the end of a long cycle or walk, or when the person map-reading has sent us the wrong way. People can get frustrated and things can quickly get very tense.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST TIP FOR MAKING A TRIP WITH A FRIEND WORK?

When someone hasn't been to a remote or very different place before, is completely out of their comfort zone and is perhaps seeing confronting things, that can really test a friendship. It's important to be understanding and make allowances and be ready to help. You also need to know when to shut up.

WILL YOU GO AWAY AGAIN – AND, IF SO, WHERE?

Yes, we're going bike riding in the South Island of New Zealand in December, and then going on a walking trip on Flinders Island in January.

THE FRIENDS

Vincent Poumot, 23, Motorbike mechanic travels with waiter Thomas Castellano, 22, both from Cannes, France, visiting Australia

Thomas Castellano (left) and Vincent Poumot with their car

Thomas Castellano (left) and Vincent Poumot with their car

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER?

We're travelled in France together, over to Australia, and now all over Australia.

WHY DO YOU TRAVEL TOGETHER?

I think it's good to know someone to travel with so you can laugh together and be good company for each other. For us, it's also great that we can speak French together, although that's not so good for our English!

HOW SIMILAR – AND DIFFERENT – ARE YOU?

We are very similar in so many ways, except that we do completely different kinds of work.

WHAT WAS YOUR BEST TIME TOGETHER?

We travel everywhere in the car we bought, a Holden Berlina estate, and we love the freedom of being on the road together, going wherever we want to, when we want. They've always been the best times together of our trips.

AND YOUR WORST TIME?

We sleep in the car too – one on the back seat and one on the front – which is good as it's free. But sometimes we're stuck together in the car when it's raining and cold outside, and we can start to get on each other's nerves.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST TIP FOR MAKING A TRIP WITH A FRIEND WORK?

Make sure you know each other well before you set off. If you don't, you can discover how different you are, and that can be very difficult. You might not want to see each other ever again after a long trip together.

WILL YOU GO AWAY AGAIN – AND, IF SO, WHERE?

I think so, but for shorter trips in future. We won't travel for a year together again. Three months, or shorter, would be a lot easier.

THE FRIENDS

Fran Meem, a former accountant, travels with teacher Louise Fergus, both from Sydney

Fran Meem and Louise Fergus at the Cliffs of Moher, Ireland.

Fran Meem and Louise Fergus at the Cliffs of Moher, Ireland.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER?

We did a road trip to Queensland, a trip to Cuba, went bushwalking in England and Scotland, and did a bus trip around Ireland.

WHY DO YOU TRAVEL TOGETHER?

Being with someone gives you more courage to do things than being on your own, and it's nice to be able to enjoy things with someone else. If you had an accident or didn't feel well, you know there's someone looking out for you, too.

HOW SIMILAR – AND DIFFERENT – ARE YOU?

We both like a lot of the same things, although Louise doesn't drink as much as I do, and are happy to give each other their own space, and we can enjoy being quiet. I couldn't bear to travel with a chatterbox.

WHAT WAS YOUR BEST TIME TOGETHER?

We visited The Beatles Story museum in Liverpool and, although we didn't know each other when we were 14 and 15, we revisited the past together somehow. That was really fun.

AND YOUR WORST TIME?

On our bus tour around Ireland, our guide was overly biased and one-sided about everything. So when we went into Northern Ireland, we left the tour and went off together to explore Belfast, the wall, the murals and the bonfires being prepared for the marching season.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST TIP FOR MAKING A TRIP WITH A FRIEND WORK?

You need to give each other the freedom to do what you want to do, to let the other person go off and do other things with other people if they want to. You don't need to be together all the time! Also, be considerate of the other person's space, especially if you're sharing a room.

WILL YOU GO AWAY AGAIN – AND, IF SO, WHERE?

Yes, maybe along the WA coast.

THE FRIENDS

Accountant Ken Guider, travels with retired administrator Max Little, both from the Central Coast of NSW.

Ken Guider (right) and Max Little (middle) with some friendly police in Lima, Peru.

Ken Guider (right) and Max Little (middle) with some friendly police in Lima, Peru.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER?

We travelled around South America: through Peru, Bolivia and Chile.

WHY DO YOU TRAVEL TOGETHER?

Our friendship goes back to pre-school. I like to travel with someone I know, especially if you're sharing accommodation, and sharing experiences is nicer than on your own.

HOW SIMILAR – AND DIFFERENT – ARE YOU?

We share similar childhoods and are from the same cultural background, but we also have different personalities. I spend a lot of time hiking, but he's not a hiker. But if he wanted to do one thing, I'd do that, then I'd choose what to do the next day.

WHAT WAS YOUR BEST TIME TOGETHER?

It had always been my dream to see Machu Picchu. We shared a wonderful day there, which was very special.

AND YOUR WORST TIME?

When we came down, we went to Aguas Calientes, the little town below the ruins. One of us wasn't feeling too well and we had not so much a clash but I suppose it was tiredness and emotion got into it. But we gave each other some time and space, and later on we had dinner and a beer and everything was fine.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST TIP FOR MAKING A TRIP WITH A FRIEND WORK?

If one person wants to do something, go with the flow and do it, too. It's important to have a bit of give and take.

WILL YOU GO AWAY AGAIN – AND, IF SO, WHERE?

I think we will if we have the chance, but my next trip is to Borneo with a group and then India when I'm meeting some American friends there.

FAMOUS FRIENDS WHAT WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM THEM

Bill Bryson (Robert Redford) and Stephen Katz (Nick Nolte) in a scene from

Bill Bryson (Robert Redford) and Stephen Katz (Nick Nolte) in a scene from

DON QUIXOTE AND SANCHO PANZA The delusional self-declared knight-errant and his companion travelled around Spain to right wrongs in the acclaimed early 17th-century novel by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra.

LESSON TO BE LEARNT If one of you has crazy ideas that could be dangerous, speak up and let them know.

BILL BRYSON AND STEPHEN KATZ They walked part of the Appalachian Trail together in the eponymously named book, later made into the movie, A Walk in the Woods, with Robert Redford and Nick Nolte

LESSON TO BE LEARNT Make sure, before you leave, that your friend is fit enough for the task ahead, and preferably isn't a grumpy alcoholic.

THELMA AND LOUISE Two fictional movie characters, played by Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon, embark on a US road trip and end up – spoiler alert – driving over a cliff to their deaths.

LESSON TO BE LEARNT Stick together in potentially dodgy situations, and don't shoot strangers.

CHE GUEVARA AND HIS FRIEND ALBERTO GRANADO They journeyed across South America together in 1952, with the 2004 film, The Motorcycle Diaries, a memoir of that radicalising trip.

LESSON TO BE LEARNT If your friend starts persuading locals to revolt, remind him of Che's untimely end by assassination.

SAMUEL JOHNSON AND JAMES BOSWELL The older writer from humble stock of the world's most influential English dictionary and his much younger aristocrat biographer travelled through the Scottish Hebrides together, detailed in a 1785 journal.

LESSON TO BE LEARNT You may be different ages, of polar opposite backgrounds and quite dissimilar personalities, but you could still travel together successfully

TEN TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE IT BACK AS FRIENDS

1. Discuss your trip thoroughly before you book it – where to go, how long to spend and, most importantly of all, what you each want out of it, and your expectations.

2. Talk about your budgets. If one of you wants, and can afford, five-star accommodation all the way and the other doesn't, or can't, then that's going to be a constant irritation.

3. Work out how you're going to split costs. Will you have a joint kitty for food and entertainment, or pay separately all the way?

4. Will you be best as a pair travelling independently together, or both booking on to a tour so you'll have other people to interact with, too?

5. Factor in some times when you'll each be free to do your own thing, or have some spare time apart to have a break from each other.

6. Consider going away for a weekend first, to test out how well you travel together.

7. Plan how to share the responsibilities for getting to a destination or finding the hotel or art gallery or restaurant. Resentment can quickly grow if one person does it all the time.

8. Make sure you both get enough sleep. Tetchiness can be treacherous for any friendship.

9. Bear in mind your friend may be less or more well travelled than you, so may need some time, and patience from you, to adjust.

10. Be prepared to compromise. You won't always want the same thing, but a little give and take can go a long way.

Credit: Madman Entertainment

FIVE OF THE BEST MOMENTS FROM THE TRIP FILMS

1. "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" and "She was only 16!" Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan were at their best when doing competing impersonations of Michael Caine at different stages of his life in The Trip movie through northern England.

2. The crushing disappointment of Coogan when he tries – and fails – to copy Brydon's famous "small man in a box" vocal trick. "I don't like silly voices," he says bitterly afterwards.

3. It's fun watching two people who are most definitely not food experts talking about haute cuisine. After trying pea-green foam served in a martini glass, Coogan delivers his verdict. "The consistency is a bit like snot," he says. "But it tastes great."

4. In The Trip to Italy, the pair admire the fabulous free-range game they've been served at a restaurant in Piedmont. "It's the equivalent of eating Mo Farah," says Coogan of Britain's finest ever distance runner. "If you were in a plane crash with him in the Andes. I'd eat him first – if he was dead."

5. Coogan is gloomy about his career, his relationship, his ageing, and often takes out his dissatisfaction on Brydon. As a result, Brydon comes up with three fantasies of murdering him, including the re-enactment of the famed retaliation scene from The Godfather: Part II.

See also: 10 reasons you should try travelling solo

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