Family retreat ... spas and pool at North Star.
Exactly how many marriages have been destroyed by caravan park holidays is unclear it's not something the Australian Bureau of Statistics keeps records of but the North Star Holiday Resort in northern NSW is doing its bit to keep the divorce rate down.
The resort offers valet parking for caravans a service it calls "the marriage saver" with staff on hand to expertly reverse park the accommodation, sparing couples the anguish of calling each other names in public, spending a fortnight sleeping on opposite sides of the caravan and racking up enormous lawyers' fees as they fight over custody of the awning and the comfy fold-up chair with the built-in beer holder.
Instead, newly arrived couples need not waste time checking their offspring into the kids' club and skipping off to the day spa hand-in-hand for a sauna, a swim in the lap pool and perhaps a his-and-hers hot rocks massage followed by a facial and hand exfoliation.
This is no ordinary van park. It is a five-star van park, one of only five in Australia, as rated by AAA Tourism, the national tourism body of the NRMA and its interstate auto club equivalents.
While this writer did not have a caravan that needed parking, I did arrive at North Star in need of marriage guidance, having spent several hours in the company of my increasingly agitated family either in a car, by the side of a road or in a tow truck, following the demise of a Holden Jackaroo water pump not far outside Bangalow.
I can confirm that the kite-making session (for the children) and massage (for the grown-ups) is a winning combination. Unfortunately, you have to take your children back after a couple of hours but no system is perfect.
A van park (or tourist park, or even resort, as some of them prefer to be known) gets its primary star rating based on its facilities and services.
Having spent just about all my childhood holidays in van parks in England, I know from personal experience that not all that long ago a van park's facilities would have been considered expansive and in excellent condition if the hot water coin slots worked in the showers. However, it seems the public is a little more demanding these days.
As well as the massage, lap pool and sauna facilities, the day spa at North Star is home to a gymnasium and temperature-controlled spa baths. There's a tennis court on site, a very good and reasonably priced restaurant under new owners and even a hairdresser.
Once upon a time a blue rinse would have been the only style the hairdresser needed to master but caravan park clientele are rapidly changing.
Many visitors are holidaymakers who might otherwise go to an upmarket hotel, says North Star director Diana Beadel.
It is not just the looming recession that's made families change their holiday plans but a different atmosphere.
"You can go to a five-star hotel but you might not be comfortable walking around in shorts and a T-shirt and carrying your fishing rod," Diana says. "Here you can relax."
Families make up the majority of North Star's visitors and entertaining children is something the resort takes very seriously.
Traditional van park fun, of course, involved putting on a red Indian headdress and being tied to a totem pole by your brother and left in the sun for half a day as punishment for dropping your tomahawk on the buffalo hunt. (I have the photo as proof.)
At North Star, children get three swimming pools (one with slides) for different age groups, an indoor play centre, a games room, outdoor playground, supervised craft sessions and other activities for ages three to 12 and evening movies and entertainment during school holidays.
"Keep the kids happy and the parents get a break," Beadel says.
Accommodation at North Star isn't limited to caravans and tents. With space for about 1000 people, the resort offers a variety of digs. To help holidaymakers choose, the different types of accommodation get individual star ratings.
Top of the list are the five-star Tuscany Villas. With three bedrooms over two storeys and room to sleep 10 people, the poolside villas come with upstairs kitchen and downstairs kitchenette, a dishwasher, private laundry and barbecue, spa bath, two DVD-VCR combos and no fewer than four television sets.
It beats the traditional van park musty cabin with a broken flyscreen hands down but punters must pay for the privilege: up to $4000 a week at Christmas. "Discerning guests are prepared to pay if you meet their expectations," says North Star director Ian Beadel.
Five-star tourist parks tend to attract "more affluent families", says Paul Baumgartner, AAA Tourism's national manager of star ratings. "Typically they are families or baby-boomer couples booking four- to five-star cabins."
However, North Star hasn't forgotten its roots. Other accommodation at the park includes various shades of villa, lodge and chalet, with different star ratings to suit different budgets.
There are also powered sites for motor homes, caravans and tents (starting at $46 a night).
Ian is so convinced he has the formula right that North Star is home to the Australian Caravan Park Training School, where beginners in the business learn the ropes.
"Don't cut corners," advises Ian, who is fond of hiring "mystery shoppers" to phone up imitating real customers in order to test his staff's efficiency.
The number of five-star van parks in Australia isn't rising. It remains an exclusive bunch and with AAA Tourism toughening its rating criteria later this year, it looks likely to stay that way.
However, despite few holiday parks coming up to the exacting five-star standard, the ratings body says many van parks are upgrading their facilities and accommodation.
"We are seeing parks building more family-oriented recreational facilities and ... an increase in the number of higher-quality park cabins," Baumgartner says.
Why are van park owners going this way? "Family-oriented holidays in resort-style accommodation are proving very popular, providing a real alternative to more expensive holiday resorts," he says.
"And we predict more Australians will holiday in their own backyard as they become concerned about spending too much on overseas holidays."
Five-star tourist parks don't suit everyone. For couples or families who want solitude in the wild, with only gum trees, babbling brooks and bandicoots for company, children's clubs and bingo nights don't hold much appeal.
But where upmarket van parks succeed is in offering access to natural surroundings along with increasingly sophisticated facilities and some company, if you want it, thrown in.
"Tourist parks provide a friendly and social environment," Baumgartner says.
"There is also generally a feeling of space, especially green spaces, while many alternatives do not provide this."
At North Star, a five-minute walk leads to a pristine beach and tidal estuary, with spectacularly clear water and very few people.
Should leaving the warmth of the tourist park prove too daunting, guests can get a taste of the extensive local marine ecosystems by simply popping upstairs from the day spa to visit the extraordinary Marine Environments Field Study and Resource Centre.
Home to a library, more than 200 exhibits (including sharks' jaws, swordfish bills and various pickled things) and a multimedia teaching set-up, the mini-museum offers guests the chance to sit in on lectures given to visiting students by a marine biologist.
It's not your typical van park facility but not much around North Star is. If only they could get themselves a totem pole and a bit of rope, this place would have everything.
FIVE-STAR TOURIST PARKS IN AUSTRALIA
* Mandalay Holiday Resort
Busselton, Western Australia
Phone (08) 9752 1328, see mandalayresort.com.au.
* Big 4 North Star Holiday Resort
Hastings Point, NSW
Phone 1800 645 790, see northstar.com.au.
* Cairns Coconut Resort
Cairns, Queensland
Phone (07) 4054 6644, see coconut.com.au.
* Ivanhoe Village Holiday Resort
Kununurra, Western Australia
Phone (08) 9169 1995, see ivanhoevillageresort.com.
* The Gateway Village
Grafton, NSW
Phone (02) 6642 4225, see thegatewayvillage.com.au.
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