Drink to that ... the Canton Lounge Bar, at the eastern end of Hay Street.
Megan Anderson finds Perth's burgeoning bar scene is taking shape in city alleys.
THE tour is called Eat Drink Walk Perth, but the word "Melbourne" is cropping up a fair bit. The tour guides are using it. So are the punters. It's a kind of shorthand for "urban cool", interchangeable with "laneway envy".
The assembled tour goers - 12 of us, all locals - know the bar scene could be groovier in Perth's city centre but we're here because it's much better since changes to licensing laws allowed possibilities beyond the beer barn.
Smaller rooms, dimmer lighting, no flat-screen television sets, more specialist tipples, flexible dining options: all reasons to be cheerful.
The lads from Two Feet and a Heartbeat consider this gradual awakening significant enough to warrant a dedicated epicurean tour. By day, they pound the streets conducting historical and cultural walking tours of Perth's city centre, for many years an after-hours black hole. Privy to all the new nooks and enterprises, they say they couldn't help but see the opening for a casual night tour. As a way to become familiar with Perth's emerging inner-city bar scene, it's a good taster. We'll hit four bars: enough to whet the appetite and afford the chance to rubberneck at a bunch of others - and plan for next weekend.
We start at the oriental-style Canton Lounge Bar at the eastern end of Hay Street. The prearranged nibbles (some food and drink is included in the tour cost) have fallen foul of a sudden staff departure but the recovery is quick, testament to the relentless cheeriness of our guides (both called Ryan, helpfully).
The post-work din prohibits chit-chat, so a few of us retreat to the small outdoor deck, emblazoned with graffiti art and poised over bin-lined laneways. Very Melbourne.
For the next leg, a flats-shod walker produces black patent heels from her tote, lifting the sense of occasion a notch. Rightly so. Following a brisk walk through the city, we're lured down a laneway by a row of outsize fabric chandeliers off Howard Street. We stop to admire the cobblestones (added for effect) and peer into the back entrance of tapas joint Andaluz, before breezing through the unadorned doorway (really Melbourne) of Helvetica.
This is where it's at. Check-shirted wait staff muddle cocktails behind a bar oozing atmosphere; exposed brick, old stuff, funky fittings. We get a taste of the agrodolce and there's just time for another buy before we're gathered up and told about the whisky wall. Whisky tragics can buy a rare and special bottle and stash it here to whittle down on future visits. But not tonight. Time to move.
As we traipse past King Street's opulent windows, we might think we're off to the new Wolfe Lane (in the eponymous laneway) but we bypass it for the big outside table at Fuche on Murray Street. Jugs of dangerously drinkable sangria appear and the gregarious head chef details the ingredients by way of warning. Although this isn't a scheduled food stop, many are on the fang. The Ryans make a mental note while the rest of us load up from the tapas menu.
It's Thursday night but there's hardly anyone else here to enjoy the mood lighting and soft furnishings. It was the same at Helvetica and it will be likewise at Box Deli, our final stop. That's not very Melbourne. The post-work crowd has not kicked on. Perhaps they need a tour of Perth's small bar scene.
At Box Deli we have the studded white bar to ourselves, which detracts from the Manhattan cool they are aiming for. Our guides crack their first beer of the evening. In truth there hasn't been a lot for them to do other than jolly us along but it's a relief that they haven't filled the gaps with lame commentary or party tricks.
The business of socialising doesn't favour military precision and our tour blows out from two hours to three. Even then there's no time to pore over wine lists or menus, so the very best of what's on offer has inevitably been sidelined in favour of expediency.
Foodies should adjust their expectations accordingly; provided food is more likely to be deep-fried spring rolls than buffalo mozzarella-stuffed figs.
A final glitch is that the tour ends nowhere near where it starts. It's a fair hike back to the train station for me but I do learn something: this is where all the people are. They're on the street, mooning the traffic and looking for the next place to be. Clearly, they've been haunting far less urbane establishments than us - there was no sign of them in the dimly lit alley ways where a quiet new groove is taking shape.
Trip notes
Getting there
All leading domestic airlines fly daily from Sydney to Perth.
Touring there
Two Feet and a Heartbeat conducts Eat Drink Walk Perth tours on Thursdays at 6.30pm. Cost is $40. The tour meets at the Perth Town Hall and (officially) lasts about three hours. 1800 459 388, twofeet.com.au.
Staying there
The Richardson Hotel is a boutique stay overlooking Kings Park. The excellent Opus restaurant is on site. 32 Richardson Street, West Perth, (08) 9217 8888, therichardson.com.au.
A bar sampler
Canton Lounge Bar, 532 Hay Street, has boutique and international beers, signature cocktails. Monday to Thursday 11.30am-late; Friday 11.30am-midnight; Saturday 6pm-midnight. (08) 9325 9900. cantonloungebar.com.
Helvetica, at the back of 101 St George's Terrace, whisky menu and cocktails. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 3pm-midnight; Friday noon-midnight, Saturday 6pm-midnight. 08 9321 4422, helveticabar.com.
Andaluz, 21 Howard Street, has a great take on tapas and European tipples. Monday-Thursday noon to midnight; Friday noon-1am; Saturday 6pm-1am. 08 9481 0092. andaluzbar.com.au.
Wolfe Lane, (from Murray Street, right of Pierucci), wine tasting, oyster shucking, exhibitions and a sleek interior. Monday to Saturday, 4pm-late. (08) 9322 4671, wolfelane.com.au.
Alda's, 317 Murray Street (rear, in Wolfe Lane, in Perth's fashion alley. (08) 9483 2531.
Fuche, 418 Murray Street (near Shafto Lane) has a good cocktail menu. (08) 9841 0262, fuche.com.au.
Box Deli, 918 Hay Street. The bar is open Friday to Saturday until 2am. (08) 9322 6744.
Bovine among the vines
Margaret River has a new milky way.
COWS are everywhere in Western Australia's celebrated wine district and they're not predictable. One has a ute for a rear end. Another is covered in blue checks. The one in the hardware store has chrome pipes hanging off it.
The Cow Parade, an international public art event, sees life-size, fibreglass cows decorated by local artists plonked in improbable locations for the amusement of the public. Its previous incarnations have been in Tokyo, New York, Paris and London. The cow count in Margaret River is 85; businesses and corporate sponsors have paid handsomely for the privilege of hosting a cow (or two) on their premises. They'll "graze" there until the end of the month, then an auction on July 10 will see the works put out to pasture and a bunch of funds raised for charity.
Margaret River does not want for attractions. Its unfair share of blessings extends from wine and food to tall trees and surf beaches. That being the case, touring the region can be bamboozling. The Cow Parade, complete with its own trail map, offers a fresh way to infiltrate the sights tucked among vineyards, shops and along back roads.
The Cow Parade charity auction takes place on July 10 at the Marquee on Signal Park, Busselton. cowparade.com.au
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