Aboard the conga liner

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This was published 14 years ago

Aboard the conga liner

Comfort not speed ... the MV Athena has a capacity of 600 passengers, a "minnow" among new mega-liners.

Comfort not speed ... the MV Athena has a capacity of 600 passengers, a "minnow" among new mega-liners.

The moment of true surrender comes somewhere off the south-west coast of Western Australia. On the last night of our cruise on the MV Athena, the crowd in the Olissipo restaurant is going off.

Singing waiters led by a big-voiced Paraguayan guitarist move from table to table, leaving mild delirium in their wake. On the other side of the room, an ageing traveller discards his walking frame and puffs out an impromptu melody on the harmonica. Mariachi meets Waltzing Matilda.

So there is no question, really, that minutes later we will be swinging our napkins over our heads and whooping as the lights dim for the traditional cruising last-night parade of the flaming bombe alaska.

Any doubts that we have fully embraced the cruising life evaporate. Restraint? Forget it. What time does the next conga line leave?

Four days earlier, we approached Victoria Quay at Fremantle uncertain about what the journey will hold. It is Valentine's Day and this is the schmaltzy-sounding Sweetheart's Sojourn cruise - a return trip taking in Albany and Bunbury.

Of course, we are well-qualified: after 27 years of marriage, there is no question we are sweethearts. It is just we have never sojourned on a cruise ship before.

The sense of time travelling begins at the Fremantle Passenger Terminal, built when sea travel was still king. It is like walking on to the sound stage of an Australian movie set in the 1960s, where vast halls with rows of ceiling fans beat down the late afternoon heat. A cameo appearance by Bill Hunter would not be misplaced.

Yet, climbing the gangway, we find we have left our scepticism on the dock. Early on, we receive good advice from a veteran cruiser: give yourself over to the rhythm of the cruise - four days and nights of eating, drinking, activities on the half-hour and a floor show at night. All you have to do is turn up. Away from the everyday frenzy, this is a calmer, more contained and organised world of its own. No mobile phones, no deadlines - apart from making sure to finish dinner in time for the cabaret.

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By international cruising standards, the Athena is a minnow. Launched in 1948 as the Stockholm, she was built, as they say, for comfort rather than speed.

Each year, the Athena flees the European winter and heads to the southern summer, the only cruise ship operating from Fremantle.

She can take a maximum of 600 passengers but 550 is her twin-share capacity. (By comparison, the Queen Mary 2 carries more than 3000.)

Her intimacy remains her biggest point of difference and the greatest source of her charm. She does not boast the water slides of other ships - her modest pool is breasted in a handful of strokes.

"As a ship, I consider them boxes," the Athena's captain, Pedro Pinto, says dismissively of the mega-liners. A smaller ship, he says, makes for a friendlier experience for passengers. "Everyone knows their name," he says.

So it is with this Cheers-like philosophy that the Athena sells what it regards as the classic cruise experience. The ship, rated 3½ stars, was refitted in 1994 and 2004, and her decor is comfortable rather than luxurious. Our junior suite has a double bed, couch and spa bath.

As as we sail out of Fremantle, around Rottnest Island and head south, a quick review of our fellow passengers reveals that, as fortysomethings, we are not the oldest.

Grey and balding heads dominate but it's hard to pick an average age.

Cruise director George Nakos reveals that somewhere onboard is a 104-year-old man, the ship's oldest passenger. At the other end of the scale is a baby conceived on an earlier journey - perhaps their own sweetheart's sojourn?

There is romance to be found and a touching moment that befits the older passenger list: above the pool deck, a woman is negotiating the walkway when her walking frame becomes caught in the deck lounges. Within seconds, chivalry appears in the form of a rescuer of similar vintage, who escorts her to a safer place.

There are advantages in travelling with older passengers. To the woman who referred to us as "young couple", we love you. There are other bonuses. If you take breakfast or lunch in the restaurant, you are randomly seated with others. The forced encounter is an opportunity to meet new people - and older passengers are generally skilled at conversation and have a story to tell.

And, while the cheaper-than-land alcohol flows from the bars, people behave.

Each evening, a program appears in your cabin to plan the day ahead. The activities list makes exhausting reading: morning quizzes, darts, giant quoits, rock'n'roll classes, Latin line dancing, shuffle board, ping pong (weather permitting), charades ... and so it goes.

The activities and entertainment are tailored to the age profile of the passengers, so it's not surprising one activity pulls a big crowd: bingo.

On day one, we shun the game, preferring a sedate and respectable seat in the nearby library. We watch as the crowd disperses - there is a frisson in the air. Enthusiastic reviews over drinks later that night suggest we have missed out on something big.

The next day, we take the plunge. It is $10 for a book of tickets - we share, not wanting to go overboard. We are novices, anxious that we should incorrectly mark our tickets and cry "bingo!", followed by the walk of shame after having the ticket rejected.

For the first three games, this isn't a risk. But the fourth game is different: our numbers come in a rush. With two numbers to go, we are close, so close. Inexplicably, someone gets a full card before us.

It is with a little disappointment that we realise there will be no bingo tomorrow, with a shore excursion to the Margaret River wineries.

The day trips make an excellent break from the cruising life and bingo. Unlike the big cruise ships, where disembarking can involve waiting around, the Athena's size means it's simply walk-off, walk-on.

From Bunbury, we head to the outstanding Vasse Felix for a tasting of its best, followed by lunch on the verandah at the beautiful neighbouring Cullen Wines.

In Albany, the attractions are more varied. The coastline tour has dramatic views. The real find, however, is the Great Southern Distilling Company, which produces a single malt whisky that is gaining international attention.

Back aboard, the evenings develop a familiar pattern: dinner followed by the floor show in the Calypso Lounge.

First, the floor show. There is a sultry crooner, Cristina; the Los Paraguayos duo of the big-voiced singer from the restaurant and a harpist who makes his instrument sing; and the Italian juggler, Gianni Carletti, who risks death by balancing swords on his head in rolling seas. Vegas it isn't but the crowd laps it up.

But the best entertainment is to be found around the dinner table with our waiter, Yuri, from Ukraine. Each evening, he rolls out his routine: tapping your right shoulder only to appear on your left; getting you to taste-test the water before pouring a glass. Corny? Of course, but each night he wins over our table.

Yet occasionally, he has a moment of reflection about his homeland, the result of 2½ months at sea. "I have been halfway around the world but still, for me, Odessa is the most beautiful place," he says longingly.

As the lights dim, Yuri marches to our table carrying the flaming bombe alaska. There is no alternative: raise your napkin, the time has come to let go.

Shane Green travelled courtesy of Classic International Cruises and Tourism WA.

The starting price for this cruise was $850 for an inside cabin to $1675 for a balcony suite. All meals are included - alcohol and shore excursions are among the extras. The Athena returns in summer, setting sail from Rome in November for a 35-day cruise to Fremantle. There are 13 scheduled cruises from Fremantle, including seven short coastal cruises such as ours.

See classicintcruises.com.

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