This was published 1 year ago
Airline review: Ryanair, Frankfurt to London, Boeing 737-80 economy class
By Flip Byrnes
There's no onboard entertainment - the entertainment is flying Ryanair itself.Credit: Getty Images
BOARDING PASS
Flight FR1686 Frankfurt Am Main to London Stansted; Boeing 737-80: economy class seat 19E; flight time one hour, four minutes.
THE LOYALTY SCHEME
Most airlines don't charge to join a loyalty scheme, but this is Ryanair. For €199 a free bag and Fast Track are yours. You'd have to fly Ryanair almost every month to recoup the membership cost and that's a lot of Ryanair.
CLASS
As befits the budget airline, the entire plane is economy. There's a class I call Sub Economy, which is the middle seat. Ryanair knows this and when refusing to pay for just any seat, in a last-ditch revenue effort they extend a €3 offer to avoid a middle-seat allocation. I refuse on principle and am assigned a middle seat.
CARBON EMISSIONS
It's approximately 0.16 tonnes of carbon on this short flight. Ryanair is the number one EU airline in terms of traffic but ranks fifth in CO2 emissions. They claim to be Europe's greenest airline with the highest load numbers and thus lowest emissions per passenger (often due to full flights). There is a corporate sustainability plan online with admirable goals but this is the airline that considered charging for bathroom use, so cross your legs and wait.
FREQUENCY
Once daily.
CHECKING IN
After a quick 5.30am check-in there are no staff at the gate to scan boarding passes for waiting area entry. When one arrives 20 minutes before boarding, all are made to leave the waiting area and line up again for scanning.There must be an element of Ryanair surprise somewhere. I wonder if this is it and consider it almost anticlimactic.
THE SEAT
There are 157 people on a 189-capacity plane and I slide into the empty aisle seat next to me, slightly smug. Ryanair 0. Customer 1.
The minimalism is impressive. The snug 17-inch (43-centimetre) seats don't recline, there's no seat back pocket or sick bags. What passengers do have, is an actual seat.
BAGGAGE
The first rule of baggage is that there is no baggage. You really don't want bags. This is where added costs make flying a full class carrier to a central airport more cost effective. A recent rule allows only a free 40cm x 20cm x 20cm carry-on (no additional handbag unless purchased). A passenger is caught attempting to smuggle an over-sized bag onboard and is charged €69 (bags are €20 online.) Ryanair 1. Customer 0.
ENTERTAINMENT
The entertainment is flying Ryanair itself. Will the gate be within two kilometres of check-in? Will your bag tip the scales they sometimes wheel around for spot-weighs?
A hidden handbag under my coat causes high anxiety pre-flight but is also quite the adrenaline rush.
SERVICE
At 7am the staff and plane are fresh, there are no delays yet which plague the network. Contrarily, returning from Stansted is apocalyptic with security delays so prolific that catching the plane means a Chariots of Fire- style 800-metre 6am dash. I'm still scarred.
FOOD
Snacks and water are available onboard for a cost. BYO.
ONE MORE THING
In Frankfurt the first terminal shuttle only just makes check-in for the 7am flight – ensure there's transport for ungodly hours.
VERDICT
If you don't have bags, don't have to be anywhere on time, can nab a cheap ticket and are creative in finding transport solutions to a terminal after hours, Ryanair certainly has its place. The flight had been €10 five days before booking, but jumped to €100 for what is basically a ride in an air wheelbarrow. I can also write whatever I want aware there's no one at Ryanair to read this - the contact centre's been un-contactable since 1984 (when the airline began).
OUR RATING OUT OF FIVE
★★
The writer travelled at her own expense.
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See also: Airline review: On board Europe's top budget airline (no, not Ryanair)
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