Beat the heat at Melbourne's coolest spots

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This was published 15 years ago

Beat the heat at Melbourne's coolest spots

By Cool city
A jug of Pimm's special at Madame Brussells is one way to beat the Melbourne heat.

A jug of Pimm's special at Madame Brussells is one way to beat the Melbourne heat.Credit: Simon Schluter

I'm not what you'd call a hot weather guy. It's not that I don't love the heat, but I lose sunglasses weekly, can't figure out my air-conditioner and, frankly, I'm never prepared for a scorcher.

So, like many Melburnians, when a real stinker hits, the best I can do is lie around moaning about the injustice of it all. This year, however, I decided to be ready. Not just slip-slop-slap ready, but full-scale evacuation-style contingency-plan ready.

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So, here's your guide to chilling out in Melbourne. All venues noted are air-conned, fan-fed or just plain cool.

UNDERCOVER MELBOURNE

You can make it from one end of the city to the other with only a few seconds' exposure to direct sunlight. Starting at Flinders Street Station, take the Flinders Street underpass leading past cool browsing stops such as zine store Sticky - where you can create your own mag - and street fashion shop Corky St Clair (recently reduced in size after the store was destroyed by above-ground roadworks). When you're ready to surface, head up to busy Degraves Street.

Just around the corner, Journal offers light bites and reading under subtle ceiling fans, and you could easily lose yourself in the adjoining City Library for half a morning. Right now there's an exhibition of T. S Bateson's textile canvases, Woven Fields, next to the surprising - for a library - public piano, which patrons can tinkle on if they're a grade five or above pianist. There are also plenty of mags, new releases and quiet zones, and with opening hours stretching to 8pm Monday to Thursday, it's a great spot to avoid a crowded, sweaty commute home.

From there, dart across Flinders Lane to Centre Place, another bustling but sun-sheltered strip, half of which is covered. There are more shops to distract you here, if you're not in a hurry. Save your energy for the upcoming Collins Street crossing, your first real hit of heat so far.

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At Collins, you have a few options - straight across to Australia on Collins, which is big and cool enough for an hour of wandering. More upmarket shoppers will veer to the left where Block Arcade offers chilly marble floors and a filtered glass ceiling. Basement Discs is both below street-level and air-conditioned - with comfy couches by the listening booth, but make sure you buy something, OK? There's even the underground Charles Dickens Tavern for folks requiring a subterranean beverage by now. Younger daytrippers might opt for the Sportsgirl Centre to the right, which has the added value of leading to maxi-cool mini-cafe Pushi along the way.

Whichever route you choose will lead you to Little Collins Street - bakery-cafe Laurent is an elegant, high-roofed lunchtime destination, with nearby Royal Arcade for the sweet tooth; Koko Black's chocolates will see to those cravings.

The Bourke Street Mall is your next dash for shade. Myer and David Jones both offer heavily air-conditioned havens for the next leg, though Myer's The Basement and covered walkways will allow you to get all the way to Melbourne Central in safety. There, you may want to finally give in and spend the next few hours in a chilly cinema. For maximum escape, will give you close to three hours' relief.

If your tastes are less populist, drop into the State Library for some light reading or an exhibition. R. Ian Lloyd's current exhibition, , featuring photographs of Australian painters, is outstanding. Cafe Mr Tulk is in the same building and offers superior air-con with its coffee and meals.

If you're still looking to avoid the heat, one block east takes you to the Old Melbourne Gaol, where thick stone walls keep temperatures chilled on even the hottest days. Plus it's, you know, historic.

Less heritage but more adventurous is the Chill On Ice Bar half a block to the south. It's gimmicky and a little weird, but if the barometer is soaring, you'll quickly forget it here. The bar is made up of 30 tonnes of real ice - walls, chairs, sculptures - and it's kept at a steady 14 degrees below zero. Patrons are issued with thick jackets and several layers of gloves, but even that won't keep your teeth from chattering soon enough. In fact, you're only allowed 30 minutes at a time in the bar as longer periods can be too much for the body to handle. And the feeling as you re-emerge onto Russell Street is an odd combination of brainfreeze and relaxation.

KEEP IT FREE

Among the city's lesser-known offerings are the free films shown at the NGV (St Kilda Road) throughout the week. In the next few weeks, you can catch flicks ranging from Lost in Translation to Punch Drunk Love, as well as Oz classics Don's Party and The Club. All for nix, and usually during the day.

Finding a cool after-hours hideaway that doesn't come with a price tag isn't easy, but it's possible. Along with the City Library, NGV Australia at Federation Square is open until 9pm on Thursdays and currently features a brilliant retrospective of Rosalie Gascoigne's work, along with exhibitions by Rennie Ellis and a collection of works by Aboriginal women from five desert communities. They're all free.

Collins Place is another well-known air-conditioned retreat where staff won't harass you for just killing time with a book. And Mag Nation on Elizabeth Street is open until 9pm weeknights, with plenty of room (and reading) to pass a few hours.

COOL TIPPLES

While an ice bar is a novel excursion, you can't really spend an entire warm evening there without risk. And Slurpees aren't the only frosty option on a hot day. For the more classically minded drinker, a jug of the Pimm's special at Madame Brussells should do the trick in a manner of which nana would certainly approve.

Less refined but more hilarious are the cocktails at Russell Street's Mai Tai, timewarped from the Love Boat via an '80s karaoke bar. The semi-comprehensible drink descriptions are a big part of the attraction.

For beer gardens, The Belgian Beer Cafe on St Kilda Road comes into its own in summer with an excellent range of European brews. Local brewery Mountain Goat also opens its factory doors to drinkers on Wednesday evenings, where you can watch - and sample - beer straight from the source. And the generous, well-treed garden of Fitzroy's The Standard still remains one of the best spots to settle for an entire evening of doing not much at all.

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