Crowds of millennials wait to be seated for brunch outside the popular Intermezzo restaurant in the Chelsea neighbourhood of New York.Credit: Alamy
Brunch is a strange meal, being not quite breakfast or lunch. Like border towns, it sits between two clearly defined properties, borrowing elements from both to create a distinctive, often disorientating blend that is wholly its own thing. Many cultures skip brunch entirely. In Australia, brunch seems like something of a parlour game practised mostly by inner-city elites, though even then it's really only a late breakfast tarted up with frittata.
Who came up with brunch? Guy Beringer, an Englishman, in 1895. "Brunch is cheerful, sociable and inciting," he wrote in an essay titled Brunch: A Plea. "It is talk-compelling. It puts you in a good temper, it makes you satisfied with yourself and your fellow beings, it sweeps away the worries and cobwebs of the week." Beringer recommended "noon" as a starting time for brunch – this allowed people to sleep in after a raucous Saturday evening – and coffee and marmalade as starters.
But really brunch is an American creation. Like many things in life (automobiles, freedom), they nabbed the idea and took it to extremes, giving brunch the characteristics it's most commonly associated with today. To really understand and appreciate the custom, one must therefore look to a city like New York.
Margaritas at Senor Frogs, the Mexican-themed tropical bar and grill.Credit: Alamy
If I was a cynic, stepping out in Chelsea on a Sunday morning, this is how I would describe a typical New York brunch. Long lines, with wait times of up to an hour if you haven't made a booking in advance. Crowded restaurants, with decibel levels reaching somewhere in the realm of a Beyoncé concert. A familiar, uninspired menu: buckwheat pancakes, bagels and cream cheese, French toast, poached eggs. Lots of gossip shared among people who saw each other seven days ago but act as though they've been divided for a decade by war. And alcohol.
Did I mention alcohol? To the uninitiated, this is the most unusual feature of a New York brunch, aside from the bit where brunch actually occurs at 2pm, well after both breakfast and lunch have already finished. Because Americans managed to avoid inheriting that lamentable British tradition of dangerous binge drinking, many brunches come with the option of "unlimited" – meaning as many Bloody Marys and mimosas as you can stomach in a 90-minute sitting. Upon learning about "unlimited", many Australians, I have noticed (myself included), tend to act as though Prohibition is slated to return tomorrow. We cannot help ourselves. It is an innate national weakness. Another common feature of brunch is therefore an 8pm hangover.
But enough cynicism. Brunch is actually wonderful, and here is why: In a culture obsessed with endless work and minimal vacation time, it is the only meal devoted entirely to hedonism and fun. Brunch has no real reason to exist. It is pure frivolity, offering little in the way of vital sustenance. Strange as it may sound, brunch is a kind of miniature vacation. It suspends the rules of propriety and recommended calorie-intake. For overtaxed New Yorkers, the brunch table becomes a Mad Hatter's tea party, where corn chips can be eaten alongside omelettes and sugary cake, and where champagne with orange juice is not only acceptable but expected as a daytime beverage.
A quesadilla served in a larger-than-life mouse trap at Senor Frogs.Credit: Alamy
With all that in mind, there are a few things a visitor can do to take advantage of the weekly ritual.
The first thing to do is lower expectations. It is no secret that many chefs hate making brunch; their hearts are rarely in eggs and fried potatoes, and this often shows on the plate. Indeed, brunch is not really about the food, though you will often pay a lot of money for it. Treat the whole meal like the farce it is – preferably with Americans as co-conspirators – and you will soon find the groove, which comes through the conversation and people-watching.
But if you're one of those people who objects to spending lots of money on sub-rate fare (what's wrong with you?), there are some good places to go. Tip: these are often not the crowded places. Adding to the sense of topsy-turviness around brunch, just because a restaurant is packed doesn't mean people actually like what it serves. Red Rooster in Harlem serves terrible food, though good luck getting a table there on Sunday afternoons.
Bloody mary: Sarah Schneider and Demetri Makoulis's Egg Shop Lower East Side of Manhattan.Credit: Alamy
For a dependable institution, it is hard to go past Cafe Luxembourg on the Upper West Side. Beloved for decades, this mainstay unites fine French cuisine with American casual roll-up-your-sleeves ambience. The steak tartare is particularly good, as are lobster rolls and the eggs benedict, coming with just the right amount of hollandaise sauce. Maria Peligrosa, a specialty brunch cocktail, serves up plenty of tequila and a bacon-salted rim.
For something unusual, El Centro, in Hells Kitchen, validates every craving for Mexican food you may have ever had in your entire life. Here chilaquiles rule the day: "Homemade corn tortilla casserole topped with avocado, quest blanco, cream fresca and pico de gallo." Margaritas are all but compulsory and the size of a small child's head. Drink several to see the decor in its full potential.
For something unhinged, however, there is always Senor Frogs, near Times Square, which also offers Mexican fare, though I don't know that anybody actually eats the food. In Senor Frogs patrons wear balloon hats and the whole outfit is inspired by Spring Break in Cancun. Senor Frogs is brunch taken to its terminus point, like French decadence at Versailles in the 18th Century. It is only a matter of time before somebody loses their head.
Personally, my favourite brunch is fried eggs and black coffee in an Art Deco diner, like Broadway Diner on the edge of Morningside Heights, where the waitress is 70 years old and completely no-nonsense. But what do I know, really? Earlier this year, I committed the ultimate brunch faux-pas. The meal had tipped into a third hour, and I had things to do, so I got up to leave. "Where are you going?" my friends demanded, horrified by this louche behaviour. "We're just getting started." Adamant, I slipped off into the city as they moved down and continued the madness late into the afternoon. Invitations have been sporadic ever since.
FIVE MORE NEW YORK BRUNCH SPOTS
1 Balthazar may be most familiar to Sex and the City fanatics, but Lafayette, in NoHo, is a better option for elegant decadence. Book well ahead to snag one of the lush banquettes on a weekend, though it's also possible to grab-and-go from a sublime bakery annex serving croissants and madeleines. See lafayetteny.com.
2 Southern food requires a commitment: calorie-counters stay away. But it is nothing if not delicious. At Buttermilk Channel in Brooklyn, "Fried pork chop and cheddar waffles" sits comfortably alongside "pecan pie French toast". Trust me, it's worth the blowout. See buttermilkchannelnyc.com.
3 There are many places to try a Jewish brunch, but one of the best is Sadelles in SoHo. It is hard to choose between exquisite handmade bagels and cheese blintzes, but for a true extravagance try lobster benedict with the "traditional caviar service". See sadelles.com.
4 One of my favourite restaurants in the city, The Smile, is hidden down a nondescript staircase in NoHo. The kitchen doesn't attempt any revolutionary dishes, but what it does it does well: egg sandwiches with gruyere cheese and healthy green smoothies. See thesmilenyc.com.
5 For an Australian take on New York brunch, Bluestone Lane Collective Cafe is doing the country proud. Avocado smashes, meat pies, and vegemite toast meet some of the best coffee in the entire city. Popular with homesick expats. See bluestonelaneny.com.
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