This was published 1 year ago
Could I live there? The question that reveals if you really love a place
By Lee Tulloch
New York, USA - May 11, 2013: Times Square with tourists. Iconified as "The Crossroads of the World" it's the brightly illuminated hub of the Broadway Theater District. tra4tulloch Lee Tulloch New York cr: iStock (downloaded for use in Traveller, no syndication, reuse permitted)ÃÂ Credit: iStock
Sometimes you instantly fall in love with a place. Sometimes you develop an instant dislike. And sometimes a place just grows on you.
I was always amazed when friends visiting me in New York didn't passionately declare their love for the city. In fact, the occasional person actively hated it. This seemed unfathomable to me.
I could see that some might find it dangerous, grotty, or too fast, but surely that made it dazzling and exciting as well?
It's the reverse with London. I've never really bonded with it, but I have many friends who live there, have lived there, or have spent happy periods of time there, who absolutely adore it.
I've had good times in London, but it doesn't pass my "could I live there?" test. This is nothing to do with cost of living, career opportunities, or any of the factors expats usually weigh up. It's simply an emotional, visceral reaction.
Some places feel like home, even if you've never been there before. And after a few days, your mind starts making plans to move in.
I wonder how many travellers find themselves staring in estate agent windows when they visit a city or country that has stolen their heart? The last time I did this was on a trip to Sicily, where I fell head over heels for Ortigia, the small island that is the historic centre of the city of Syracuse.
I imagined shopping daily at its fantastic produce market, breakfasting on tangy lemon cake (those Sicilian lemons are incredible), writing in a room overlooking the Ionian Sea, taking my evening stroll through its golden streets and stopping for aperitivo or gelato on the plaza by the cathedral. Perhaps I might join the wonderful puppet theatre as a volunteer? At the time, apartments in beautiful, baroque buildings were selling for the price of a carpark in Sydney.
Massively inflated house prices in Australia and opportunities to work remotely have meant that many travellers more seriously entertain the fantasy of moving to another country than perhaps ever before, with detours to check out the "for sale" notices in real estate windows quite irresistible.
At different times I've entertained thoughts of moving to Istanbul, Sri Lanka, Shanghai, Oman, Morocco, Buenos Aires, Lisbon and Budapest, to name a few, or running away to places like the Cook Islands and writing in a bungalow on a beach.
I can visualise myself wafting about in a riad in Fez, sipping mint iced-tea in a colonial house in Galle Fort or becoming a regular at the late-night Fado cabarets in Lisbon.
Harsh reality soon sets in. I don't speak the language; I have no friends or family there. I know what's involved in moving countries and it's not going to happen.
Friends recently renovated an unliveable townhouse in Puglia, which they bought for €23,000. (No, I haven't dropped a zero.) As with many tales of rustic renovations, from hapless tree changers on Grand Designs to Peter Mayle's struggles in A Year in Provence, it was an ongoing battle with tradesmen and supplies. At the end, when the house was finished and they moved in, they were unexpectedly denied residency and told to leave the country.
I know people who are lucky enough to have second houses on Greek islands and the snow fields of Japan, which seems to be the best of both worlds if you can afford it. But holidaying in a place is a world away, literally, from putting all your eggs in the residency basket.
We can have our fantasies, though. Looking in the windows of estate agents and marvelling at the affordability of houses in a place you'll never live is a pleasant kind of dreaming for most of us. "If only" is a nice sentiment if you're only a quarter serious about it.
Some of the best cities in the world to visit, like Tokyo, I've never wanted to live in. I can see myself there, but I don't want to ruin its fascination by knowing how things work. Paris is not nearly as magic when you see behind the curtain. I'd like to keep Tokyo in the fantasy zone.
For those places, like London, where I've never really bonded, I keep trying. The last time I was in London, it was Christmas, and it was almost wonderful. Perhaps the next time I'll crack it.
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