"This is going to be your best cruise ever," says our guide. "Because you're in West Africa, the happy place."
Wurzburg's baroque palace and history is only topped by a cold glass of the Franconia region's favourite drop, silvaner.
The returns are diminishing, but delightful, on a shore excursion in Takamatsu.
For those who travel to see places rather than sit on ships, cruising is getting ever more interesting.
Hawaii offers culinary masterpieces and culinary abominations.
Busy Phuket is nearby but Koh Yao Yai moves to a different, more laidback rhythm.
It's every bit like the movie version and you really must see the South Pacific from the deck of the sublime Crystal Symphony.
The white continent's beguiling beauty is well worth a voyage across rugged Drake Passage.
Space and service are primary luxuries of cruising aboard Seven Seas Explorer, but there's much, much more.
The legendary island paradise passes the authenticity test with flying colours - make that azure.
Put these dates in your diary.
Blessings abound in villages along Myanmar's Irrawaddy River.