Australian Border Force: My experience of dealing with customs

With the mass movement of holidaymakers about to begin for summer, this is a missive to those people whom I depend upon to make the exit and entry a smooth one – our airport border protection officers.

Despite new uniforms and hard-line branding as the Australian Border Force, I have to say, that in all the years I've travelled, I've never met a difficult or cantankerous frontline worker at any Australian airport. Testy, maybe, but usually those moods are confined to times when the arrival hall is overcrowded.

Perhaps I've been lucky but I generally find our immigration and customs officers good-humoured, which is not always the experience I have in other countries. I'm an Australian coming in and out of my own country, so I'm aware I'm under less scrutiny than I would be if I entered Argentina, for instance. So I can't speak for the experience of foreign nationals, who can be singled out, certainly at Customs.

I almost always get ushered through Customs quickly, while other nationalities are channelled towards the X-ray machines. I assume this is due to the high likelihood that certain visitors don't understand our quarantine laws, even though they have been informed before arrival, or are apt to try to smuggle in food anyway.

Our ground-breaking television program, Border Patrol, seems to uncover an inordinate amount of sausages, cheeses and cash.

I do find that quickly navigating Immigration and Customs quite often depends upon the time of day my plane is departing or arriving. On the past few trips, I've gone through departures at Sydney airport with the speed of lightning. In fact, the lines have been so short both at Immigration and the security check, that on the occasions when I've had an express pass I've withheld handing it over, instead saving it for another, busier, time.

Once upon a time express passes were gold, but the new, automated security gates have sped up the process tremendously, both for arrivals and departures. You're less likely to have to meet an immigration officer at all, unless the gate rejects your photograph. (This happened to me in the early days.) I do sometimes miss my little chats with the immigration officers, though.

The SmartGates are now open to visitors of various nationalities, including Chinese, Japanese, Swedish and French, making the movement of people even speedier.

I often marvel at the patience of the security personnel manning the scanners, who have to keep the lines moving and deal politely with confused, stubborn and plainly clueless people at the same time. The airport process does tend to dazzle you a bit – so many lights, people, different instructions – and travellers are apprehensive and a bit extra-sensitive, so patience from the people controlling the flow is essential.