A colourfully painted surfboard fence.Credit: Getty Images
Ben Groundwater proves you can eat and play in Honolulu without blowing your budget.
FIVE days, $500. That's the kind of money you could blow in a night if you really wanted to - but spread it over five days? While having a holiday?
I've come to Honolulu with a mission: to see just how cheap you can make this place.
With flights and accommodation sorted I've got $US500 ($512) to play with for the next five days. Can I actually amuse myself and still afford to eat, or will I wind up joining the buskers on the Waikiki Strip?
It's a challenge. Five days, $US500. You've heard of Hawaii Five-O? This is Hawaii Five-O-O.
DAY ONE
If Disneyland had a beach-themed attraction, it would look like Waikiki. As I walk off the effects of my plane trip, the Honolulu suburb almost seems too perfect, with the sun beating down on swaying palm trees, flawlessly clean streets and sunbather-strewn sand. The people-watching is free and endlessly interesting, from the tattooed, tanned locals carrying surfboards to the bikini-clad tourists heading for the hot sands.
My first meal is quick and easy - with the long history of Japanese emigration to Hawaii plus the steady influx of tourists from that country, Japanese food is readily available. Ramen Nakamura, on Kalakaua Avenue, serves the best tonkotsu ramen around. It might not feel as Hawaiian as a ham-and-pineapple pizza but at $12 for a bowl of noodle excellence, who's complaining?
Wanting to stretch my legs further, I decide to head to Honolulu's historic district by the cheapest mode of transport possible: walking. There I find the old town hall, the 170-year-old Kawaiaha'o Church, the 'Iolani Palace and a statue of King Kamehameha, which are all free to view.
I wind down day one with dinner at Side Street Inn on Kapahulu Avenue, a short walk from Waikiki. The restaurant serves gigantic portions of Asian-Hawaiian fusion cuisine - it's all I can do to roll myself back to the hotel at the end of the night.
Money spent: $US47
DAY TWO
After 24 hours in Hawaii, the Beach Boys are stuck in my head the entire time. This morning it's, predictably, Hawaii as I sit at LuLu's cafe above Waikiki Beach and mow through a fruit salad and a bottomless coffee. It's $12 all up, plus free wi-fi. I'd pay extra to get the Wilson brothers out of my head but it ain't happening.
Today I'm taking a trip to the town of Kailua, over on the eastern side of the island, for a kayaking adventure. Kailua Sailboards runs guided trips out into the crystal-clear lagoon by the town's beach, which is a hive of activity as our group paddles out. Snorkellers check out the coral, kite-surfers zip past and kayakers bump into each other. We make our way out to Flat Island, an unsurprisingly flat island in the middle of the lagoon, for a guided tour of the seabird rookery before paddling back to the beach for some R&R.
Lunch is included in the $95 for the day, which ensures everyone is well fed and sound asleep by the time we head back to Honolulu.
There, my plan for a Japanese dinner is thwarted by the fact my restaurant of choice is closed on Sundays. I have to be content with some cheap and cheerful Chinese.
Money spent: $US125
DAY THREE
"Everybody's goin' surfin'/Surfin' USA ..." Another day, another Beach Boys song. It's fitting today, though, as I'm heading out to one of the world's most famous surfing destinations, Oahu's North Shore.
After another quick breakfast at LuLu's I call past one of Waikiki's 50 million ABC convenience stores to buy a four-day pass for The Bus. The capital letters aren't mine - the bus service in Hawaii is called The Bus. A mere $25 gets you four days of unlimited travel; it's the perfect way for budget travellers to get around.
Budget travellers, however, need plenty of time on their hands - The Bus takes 2½ hours to make its way to the North Shore.
That does give you plenty of time, however, to check out your fellow bus patrons, most of whom look a bit like Nick Nolte when he got arrested: leathery-skinned and frazzled. A lifetime in Hawaii will apparently do that to you.
The Bus winds through the centre of Oahu, past sugarcane fields and pineapple plantations, before calling at the historic town of Hale'iwa, which is worth stopping at for the "shrimp trucks" parked by the side of the road. A huge plate of coconut prawns and salad will set you back $11.
A little further down the road you start hitting the famous surfing beaches, like Waimea Bay. In winter they're pumping, with waves like blocks of flats crashing onto the reef below. In summer, however, they've got surf breaks like Lake Eyre, making Waimea ideal for a swim.
I finally get my sushi fix for dinner tonight, at Tokkuri-Tei, where I sit up at the bar next to a bloke called "Texas Bob", who's nursing his own bottle of sake that the staff have brought out for him. "I'm here every night," Texas Bob drawls at me and I believe him.
Money spent: $US86
DAY FOUR
What's more quintessentially Hawaiian: surfing or playing the ukulele? That's a question I don't have to answer, because today I'm doing both. Jack Johnson is less Hawaiian than I'm going to be today.
Having dragged myself to breakfast at Starbucks (coffee, a snack, wi-fi and a newspaper set me back $US7), I'm ready to take a surfing lesson with Hans Hedemann Surf School at Waikiki Beach.
There, I join two 14-year-old girls with bucketloads more natural talent than me for a two-hour introduction to the ways of the water ($US75). It's hard work all that paddling, standing, falling and swimming but there's nothing that can touch the feeling of riding a wave at one of the world's most famous beaches.
In the afternoon I head to Puapua, a ukulele shop at the Sheraton hotel, for a free introductory lesson. The store gives hour-long classes daily and the room is packed with tourists and wannabe uke gods when I arrive. Gavin, our Japanese-Hawaiian tutor, hands out small soprano ukes to everyone in the room, then spends an hour going through the basics: how to hold, how to strum and a few chords.
To round out a day of local experiences, I end up at Ono Hawaiian Food, an institution in these parts. It's as authentic as you can get, with faded pictures of past celebrity visitors on the walls and a chef who eats his dinner in the tiny dining room with everyone else. The food is equally homely - a $US16 set meal gets you Kalua pig (a type of pulled pork), plus salad, some beef jerky and "poi", a Hawaiian dish of mashed taro that's interesting as a novelty, if not exactly tasty as a foodstuff. Still, it fills a gap.
Money spent: $US103
DAY FIVE
Bailey's, in Honolulu, isn't a shop - it's a museum.
It advertises itself as an antiques store, a purveyor of classic Hawaiian merchandise but it's so much more than that.
It's like the Louvre of Hawaiian shirts, the Musee d'Orsay of 1950s Americana. You could spend a week in there and still not have fondled every flowery shirt or every kitschy antique.
The shirts go back to the '40s and range in price from $5 knock-offs to one almost-priceless gem. "Ever had any interest in that one?" I ask the clerk, pointing at the long-sleeved shirt with a price tag of $US8000.
"Sure, we had one gentleman try it on," she says, then shrugs. "But it was too small."
They did sell a $US5000 vintage shirt, though - to uber investor Warren Buffett. Seeing me handling a '50s-style tiki cup, the clerk smiles. "If you're into tiki bars," she says, "you can't go home without seeing La Mariana."
La Mariana Sailing Club is in the middle of nowhere, beside an industrial estate overlooking the airport. Inside, however, it's an amazing relic of a Hawaiian era past, with bamboo panelling, carved tikis, sea-shell-encrusted lampshades and cane furniture.
It's kitschy without being tacky and it does possibly the best pina colada in the world, for only $US6.
Back in Waikiki, I eat my final meal at a tourist-laden pizza joint called Round Table.
I'm having - you guessed it - a ham-and-pineapple pizza. Its connection to Hawaii is probably tenuous at best but, damn, it tastes good and only costs $US15, taking me to $US74 for the day.
After that? A final walk down Waikiki Beach to enjoy the sunset. With a few incidentals I've spent a mere $US435 over the past five days, so it seems fitting that my last activity is free.
Money spent: $US74. Total $US435
The writer was a guest of Jetstar and Hawaii Tourism.
Trip notes
Getting there
Jetstar flies direct from Sydney to Honolulu, with fares from $519 one-way. jetstar.com.
Staying there
The Park Shore Waikiki is central and has rooms from $119 a night. parkshorewaikiki.com.
Eating there
LuLu's cafe, 2589 Kalakaua Ave, Honolulu. +1 808 926 5222, luluswaikiki.com.
Ono Hawaiian Foods, 726 Kapahulu Ave, Honolulu. +1 808 737 2275.
Ramen Nakamura, 2141 Kalakaua Ave, Honolulu. +1 808 922 7960.
Round Table, 150 Kaiulani Blvd, Honolulu. +1 808 944 1199, roundtablepizza.com.
Side Street Inn, 614 Kapahulu Ave, Honolulu. +1 808 739 3939, sidestreetinn.com.
Tokkuri-Tei, 449 Kapahulu Ave, Honolulu. +1 808 732 6480.
See + do
Kailua Sailboards, 130 Kailua Road, Kailua. +1 808 262 2555, kailuasailboards.com.
Hans Hedemann Surf School, hhsurf.com.
Bailey's Antiques and Aloha Shirts, 517 Kapahulu Ave, Honolulu. +1 808 734 7628, alohashirts.com.
La Mariana Sailing Club, 50 Sand Island Access Road, Honolulu, +1 808 841 2173.
More information
Three more budget experiences on Oahu
1 Visit Pearl Harbour A must-visit on Oahu, the war memorial at the wreck of the USS Arizona is fascinating and moving — and it's free.
2 Climb Diamond Head This volcano towers over one end of Waikiki and provides a fair hike with a spectacular view of the crater and the surrounding beaches from the top.
3 Hike to Manoa Falls A one-hour walk through the rainforest just near Honolulu will take you to this 46-metre waterfall.
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