By George Hobica
Nanny state. ''Asia Lite.'' ''Disneyland with the death penalty.'' A ''fine'' city. It's all about shopping and eating. And you can see anything worth seeing in a 3.9-day visit. Or in 3.9 hours.
Even without the sub-heading above, savvy travellers would already have guessed the country. It could only be Singapore.
But here's news: while the world was making fun, Singapore became an amalgam of an Asian Las Vegas with a bit of Manhattan, Sydney and Los Angeles thrown in. Watch out Macau, Hong Kong and Dubai: Singapore, if it's not already, will soon be Asia's must-see destination. Already the average tourist visit has increased to 3.96 days in 2010 (it's probably over four days now), from 3.19 days in 2001. And there's a good reason for that. There's just more to see and do. I'd argue that you could spend 3.96 weeks and not see it all.
Maybe it's just me, but whereas I'd never consider visiting Beijing and Shanghai again (once was enough, thanks - take your inhaler and oxygen supply if you're going), I can never get enough of the Lion City.
I have to admit that the first time I visited, back in the 1980s, I was indeed glibly reminded of a theme park, and I won't blame you for thinking the same thing on your first visit. It's the lush foliage lining every roadway and street, manicured to within an inch of its life; the almost total absence of litter and crime; the carefully engineered public works; the array of shops and restaurants. There are even monorails leading to a theme park (an outpost of Universal Studios, not Disney).
But dig deeper and you'll see the real Singapore. You just have to know where to look. On a Saturday night, a local acquaintance drove me past the city-state's red light district. Scores (hundreds?) of beautiful young women stood along well-lit streets waiting for customers. Think Times Square was racy back in the day? It was nothing as obvious as this and you won't find it mentioned in the official tourist literature.
Tour Little India on a Saturday night and you'll be awed by the streets and sidewalks clogged with thousands of guest workers, imported from the sub-continent to build the city's vast construction projects. Take a 30-minute ferry ride to some of the out islands and you'll think you were in a tropical rain forest. In fact, you are.
So here are eight things I love about Singapore:
1. It reminds me of Disney World.
OK, it's true. But what's wrong with Disney World? Singapore is clean. It's safe. It's well managed. Like Disney World, it's a mind bogglingly awesome accomplishment, but Disney's achievement doesn't even compare. Sixty years ago, Singapore was a shambles, brought to its knees by a cruel Japanese occupation.
2. Its great outdoors is pretty great.
Most people would never think of uber-urban Singapore as a haven for outdoorsy types, but there are actually some great gardens, parks and open spaces, many of which have appeared just recently, that are unique in Asia. And (hello, Beijing and Hong Kong) your lungs won't be filled with soot at the end of the day. Speaking of gardens, the next big Singapore attraction will be the Gardens by the Bay, a domed horticultural conservatory re-opening later this month that will recreate a cool and dry Mediterranean climate with springtime flowers blooming year round. The Jurong Bird Park, Singapore Zoo and the 150-year-old Botanic Gardens, with their amazing display of orchids, are some of my other favourites.
3. You can be naughty here!
Yes, it's true, just don't be too naughty. Indulge your vices! You can gamble in glittering casinos; ogle the aforementioned gorgeous Asian hookers (no, I don't really recommend this, but …), and Singapore has more gay saunas than New York City (six at last count). And believe it or not, the nightlife scene is hopping. The one vice you should studiously avoid: drugs. As your landing card clearly states, ''Death to drug traffickers in Singapore'' - and they don't take kindly even to casual use.
4. Its Universal Studio has 14 rides and attractions.
That's almost as many as you'll find in California (15), and Singapore has attractions you won't find at Universal Studios Hollywood. For more recreation, visit the Marina Bay Golf Course, arguably Asia's best public links, or experience the G-Max Bungy Jump, which hurtles you about 60 metres into the air at 180km/h. Fun!
5. Speaking of jumping, it's a great jumping off point for visiting Asia.
Home to several relatively new discount airlines (such as Air Asia and Tiger Air) you can fly from Changi Airport to anywhere in Asia for ridiculously little. And Singapore's airport is the best in the world. Oh, and let's not forget that you'll most likely be flying into Singapore on Singapore Airlines. It, too, is the best in the world. Best airport? Best airline? For a fly guy like me, that's enough reason to go there.
6. You can see it all in 3.96 hours.
Just kidding! But Singapore's Changi Airport sponsors a free four-hour ''highlights'' tour for transit passengers. You can leave from the airport between flights and take a bus tour of the city and be back in time for your connection. I've never done this, and I think the tourist board is doing itself a disfavour by giving the impression that Singapore can be ''done'' in four hours, but I won't tell them how to run their country.
7. There are more restaurants and shops here per square kilometre than anywhere else - except maybe the Las Vegas Strip.
Multicultural Singapore has the widest variety of Asian cuisine in Asia. Indian, Malay, Chinese and fusions of the above. The famous hawker centres (street food without the street) are carefully inspected and regulated by the government.
8. Probably the best hotel service in the world.
If you care at all about good service when you're not sleeping in your own bed, you'll be pleased no matter where you sleep in Singapore. They know that their bread is buttered by tourists in this considerable town, and they unfailingly succeed in pleasing.
For more information and to plan a trip, visit YourSingapore.com
■ George Hobica is founder of the low-airfare listing site Airfarewatchdog.com
MCT
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