This was published 9 years ago
Should you be travelling with a nanny?
There are some pitfalls in holidaying with a nanny writes Tracey Spicer
Taking the nanny on holiday can have mixed results.
Travelling with a nanny sounds like a dream come true.
But there are as many pitfalls as pleasures: for everyone involved.
Take the case of Amanda Warburton*, from Sydney, who cared for the progeny of a high-profile couple from the top end of town. For three years, she flew around the world (in economy with the kids while the parents were in first) bathing, feeding, and entertaining the two terrors.
"The parents would play with them for an hour then, when they got too much, they'd hand them to me," she laments.
It came to a head when the seven-year-old projectile vomited during a flight.
"I was castigated for taking so long to get off the plane, because I was cleaning vomit off myself and the kids," Amanda says.
There are two lessons here: treat your nanny well if you don't want to appear in a tell-all book; and try to spend some time with your kids rather than palming them off. This is why Susan Prince, from Brisbane, is glad she never did it. "As a mother to an 18 and 16 year old, I'd like to say to other parents, don't take a nanny," she says. "Their lives fly by so swiftly. Holidays with them are some of my best memories." Still, when you're a hand-on parent, a hands-off holiday is appealing.
"When Connor was four and Genevieve was one, we went to Rio for a week with my sister's Peruvian nanny," Helen Roche, from Brisbane, remembers.
"At night, she bathed all the kids and put them to bed, so we could go out for cocktails and dinner, child-free. God it was good!"
Commentator Lisa Oldfield took her live-in au pair to New Zealand and the US for skiing holidays (yes, it's a hard life…).
"She took the baby during the day, then partied at night while we hung out with him," she says. "The au pair had never been to the US, so she was thrilled. And we were happy because Harry was with someone we all loved and trusted."
Estelle Quiggin, from Sydney, says she's still in contact with the family she worked for in the United States 20 years ago.
"On holidays in Lake Tahoe, I'd look after the kids at night and, as long as I got them settled in ski school during the day, I got to ski the rest of the day. It was awesome!"
But David Moran, from Melbourne, thinks there's a better option.
"Hire the nanny to look after the kids at home while you and the better half escape together for a well earned rest," he recommends. "Think for a moment: any child under four never remembers holidays." Aside from the cost, it seems Australians feel guilty about outsourcing parenting.
Ex-pat friends in Asia are accustomed to having help on their travels.
But I'd worry about missing out on the special times. Often, the most stressful moments morph into your fondest memories.
"When the kids were six and eight, we took them to Europe for four weeks, with the last week in a lovely apartment overlooking Notre Dame," Bernadette Long, from Brisbane, recalls.
"We were packing up when Jack started throwing himself around the room, bouncing off the walls, and screaming, 'No, not helping, you f*#cking f*#k f*#cks!!!' The language was very filthy, but we laugh about it all the time. I can't imagine sharing such an intimate family memory with a nanny."
*Not her real name.
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