It's sometimes said that skiing is the only sport where you spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg.
As a child in Queensland I couldn't understand the allure.
What were those powder hounds going on about?
Now, with children of my own, I've adjusted this mindset. As horrifying as it is hurtling down a mountain in middle age, I attempt the feat for the sake of Taj and Grace.
That way, when they're hurtling down a mountain in middle age, perhaps they're less likely to slam face-first into a tree.
Skiing during spring is ideal for first-timers because it's warmer, cheaper and quieter on the slopes.
Here are the best deals for a spring fling (and no, I don't mean Ashley Madison-style) in Australia and New Zealand.
MT BULLER Full-day lift passes, for adults and children, are discounted by up to 30 per cent at the end of the season. There's free overnight parking, and up to two children stay free at selected properties. Book a Family Fun package for five nights midweek to save more than $500. Memberships for next year are on sale now.
FALLS CREEK The ultra-modern QT hotel has two-bedroom, self-contained apartments, fabulous for families. It's offering a three-night deal, including a $100 food and beverage credit, and a litre of Locally Foraged Gundowring Ice Cream (told you it was funky) from about $400 a night.
THREDBO From August 28 until October 3, children ski free as part of a package. It's about $350/night per family for three nights' accommodation and three days' lift passes. There are also discounts for five and seven nights.
PERISHER Save up to 30 per cent on lift, lesson and hire during Perisher's mid-winter sale. The secret is to buy online at least a week in advance. You can get a five-day family ski package for roughly $500/adult and $400/child. The Marritz Hotel has a midweek offer: stay four nights, pay for three. (And there's a kids' club in the evenings.)
SELWYN This resort is well suited to little children. A two-day package, including lift passes, equipment hire and lessons, is about $200/adult and $140/child.
CHARLOTTE PASS Five nights' accommodation, including breakfast and dinner, plus lift passes and hire for six days, and over-snow transport, is about $5000 for a family of four. This offer runs from September 11 to 16.
NEW ZEALAND The Heritage Hotels are family-friendly and close to the ski fields. Heritage Queenstown has deluxe family rooms, with buffet breakfast, for about $250 a night. If you stay two nights at the swish, self-contained Heritage Boutique Lake Resort Cromwell, close to four of Otago's ski fields, one day's family ski hire is free. That's about $230 a night.
It's a priceless gift to give the children: The ability to go from the top of a mountain to the bottom without injury.
And, if you're worried about your bones – as I am – there's always insurance. Just make sure you read the fine print.