Travel nerds, unite. There's no need to be ashamed. No need to hide.
You may have begun to suspect, over the past few years, that you're becoming increasingly obsessed with travel. That it's starting to take over your life. That it is your life.
If that's the case, you'll recognise plenty of these telltale signs.
You can recite the entire aircraft safety demonstration off by heart. "To inflate your life vest, pull the red tabs…"
You own the geography edition of Trivial Pursuit. I went through an extremely nerdy phase of spending nights at home drinking with a few travel-obsessed friends and playing this game deep into the wee hours. There's nothing cool about that.
You know the only two countries that start with "A" but don't end with "A". Hint: they're in Asia. And if you know this off the top of your head then you're definitely obsessed.
The most visited websites on your internet browser are all airlines. Closely followed by TripAdvisor and Wikitravel. Conversely, you haven't bothered to check Smart Traveller for government warnings in about three years.
You roll your clothes. All good travel nerds roll their clothes when they travel, knowing it gives them more space in their bag. It's when you start doing this at home that you've really got a problem.
You have no idea about current affairs… But you know, to the minute, when the next Jetstar sale starts. The lack of current affairs knowledge comes from being on the road so often and failing to check the news. The sale knowledge is self-explanatory.
You have at least 10 foreign currencies in your top drawer. The combined worth of all this spare change is about $14, which is why you haven't bothered to go down to the bank and exchange it. That, and you never know when you might be back in Mongolia.
Your Facebook feed is full of languages you don't understand. Some friends write in Japanese, some in Spanish, some in Hebrew. There's a smattering of Arabic. It'd be handy to know what everyone was actually saying, but, failing that, at least the page looks exotic.
You don't own a car or a house… But you could probably buy both with frequent flyer miles if it was allowed. You've spent all of your hard-earned income on flights and holidays, which is why you still haven't gotten around to those big, grounding purchases like property and vehicles.
The weather app on your iPhone has about 20 cities from around the world. You're torturing yourself, clearly, but it's nice to be able to quickly find out whether people will be going to the beach in Sicily, or if it's started snowing yet in Whistler.
You can order food in six different languages. You'll constantly mangle all of those languages to an almost unrecognisable state, but hey, at least you're trying.
Your house looks like a souvenir store threw up in it. There are tacky snow globes, posters, miniatures of the Eiffel Tower, islander carvings, "I heart NY" coffee mugs, framed photos, bits of national dress, fridge magnets and key rings. Your partner or flatmate probably hates all of these items. But who cares?
You can sleep anywhere. It might be on a plane, it might be on a bus, it might be curled up in a corner in an airport, in a dorm bed or on someone's ratty couch. Doesn't matter – you've mastered the art of grabbing sleep wherever and on whatever you can.
You have a favourite airport. And a least favourite. You also have a favourite terminal at LAX (the Tom Bradley, obviously), and know the quickest way to get to all of the London airports. And it actually makes sense if someone tells you they're going to "the LCCT in KL".
You have your own blog. It might have 20 readers or it might have 20,000 readers. Doesn't really matter. You're travelling enough to warrant a space to write down all of those experiences.
You've been to Luton. I can't think of any reason a tourist would visit this English city other than to fly out of it with a budget airline. It usually takes as much time to get there as it does to fly to your actual destination.
You know if you're a "window" person or an "aisle" person. You have an extensive list of reasons to justify this preference.
You could pack a backpack and be out your front door in about 10 minutes. After many years of packing and repacking and repacking again, you don't even need to think about what's coming with you. Quick check of the weather on your iPhone, grab some local currency from your top drawer, and you're gone.
What do you think are the signs you're obsessed with travel?