This was published 1 year ago
The etiquette on reclining plane seats: I had a fight over reclining my seat - and I won
By Rachel Thomas
Reclining seat etiquette on planes is a fraught subject.Credit: iStock
I thought I was mentally prepared for the two-day journey to Europe. But my first overseas trip since 2019 was met with seat-ramming, fussy eating, fire-breathing dragons – myself included.
I am not sure if it is because we haven't weathered long haul travel for two years but I saw specially made cups of tea rejected because they were cold, listened to a passenger complain about the ventilation and had not one but two arguments over reclining my seat.
The first incident happened after we had barely lost sight of the Manukau Harbour mangroves. My melatonin, 83cm of legroom and my headphones settled in with a simple plan to sleep this 12-hour chunk of the journey. But whenever I reclined my seat and shut my eyes, I would open them minutes later to see my seat in line with the empty one next to me.
The passenger behind me was un-reclining my seat.
Given there is nothing to do on a plane, something we might otherwise put up with can quickly become the hill we will die on.
Also, as far as I knew, it was not a dick move to recline a seat on a long-haul flight outside of meal times and so long as the person behind you was not more than 1.8m tall.
I turned to find a woman, at least in her early 50s and no more than 1.6m-tall, with her knees wedged up against the seat, offering the world's worst massage.
When I asked her to take her knees out of my back, she refused with a simple "no".
This was a 12-hour overnight flight, I explained. I was trying to get some sleep like everyone else.
She argued I was only meant to recline when I was sleeping. Alas – I am only awake because your knees are in my back, I explained. That is when she said: "You are being selfish." So I said: "You are being childish."
I fully realise by trading put-downs, I was just as bad as her.
It must have pushed her over the edge too, because as I continued explaining I had a right to recline by 12cm, she pushed her earphones in, crossed her arms and said: "sorry I can't hear you".
At that point, I did what any mature reasonable adult would do: I told on her.
A flight attendant materialised to have an almost identical (albeit more polite) discussion with her, explaining "seat-ramming" is not allowed. Eventually the flight attendant moved her to the back of the plane, apologised profusely to me, then moved me to premium economy, saying "I think she might strangle you".
Buoyed by the certainty I was right, I went on to the next flight with all the reclining confidence in the world. Immediately after I pressed that recline button someone was stabbing me in the shoulder: "You almost broke my neck" a furious Dutch woman proclaimed.
What has become of us, that we can't work as a team for 12 hours? If I recline, you recline, we all recline – no-one loses.
Long-haul flights are tests of endurance and manners – and we are embarrassingly rusty.
See also: Ten traveller habits more annoying than reclining the seat
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