First, be on time: How to travel Swiss-style

The Swiss are much maligned for being boring. In the movie The Third Man, Harry Lime famously commented that Switzerland has had 500 years of democracy and peace, and yet has only produced the cuckoo clock. Ouch.

The stereotypical Swiss are cautious manufacturers of money, watches and chocolate. To blend in with the Swiss, you ought to find pleasure in precision machinery, and satisfaction in on-time trains. Plus be good at skiing. Or tennis.

But actually, Switzerland was founded 733 years ago, the Swiss were feared medieval soldiers, and the cuckoo clock comes from Germany’s Black Forest. The Swiss have actually been outlaws and freedom fighters, religious reformers and revolutionary philosophers: more interesting than you might think.

The Swiss turned a country with no raw materials, barely any flat space and a small population into an industrial and financial powerhouse. They’re among the top five nationalities for registering patents and inventions, and winning Nobel prizes.

So you want to be a little bit Swiss while in Switzerland? Then don’t be a Heidi among the mountain goats. Be precise, organised, and smart. Be urban. Be on time, if not a little early. Be thrifty, and recycle everything.

Don’t worry about being overlooked. The Swiss don’t care who thinks Zurich is their capital, or Swiss or Swedish their mother tongue. They just smile modestly while counting their money in multiple languages, before taking off to swoosh down ski slopes with effortless style.

Travelling with your family? Have a referendum on all you intend to do – that’s very Swiss. The Swiss vote on everything from federal legislation to new local bus routes, so why shouldn’t all your family members vote on what mountain trail to hike, or whether to hike at all? You’ll soon learn about the positives and pitfalls of direct democracy.

Don’t do anything too exciting on Sundays. No loud music, no hanging out the washing, no disrupting the peace. Follow the rules and you’ll be right. Heaven forbid you should slam your hotel door at 11pm. Neighbours keeping you awake? Call the police.

Prepare for the world’s most tedious television, which often involves talking heads, or folk groups yodelling and playing alpine horns. But who needs TV? Right outside is one of the world’s most beautiful places, and if you aren’t soaking up the scenery, you have no soul.