10 things we’ll never understand about Thailand

Pizza with ketchup

Order a pizza in Thailand – although why would you – and it’s dished up with ketchup in little plastic packets. That at least ensures restraint, but if the table has a ketchup bottle instead, watch as the Thais squirt a good half of its contents all over their pizzas. Why? Who knows. Even the Thais can’t really tell you. It’s just a baffling (and gruesome) habit or, to put it more politely, a local taste preference.

Touching someone’s head

I get that Thais consider the head sacred, and touching someone else’s head is offensive. What I don’t understand is why this nugget of useless information is so often repeated by breathless westerners, as if it’s a crucial part of the holiday experience. What occasion would we have to touch another adult’s head without their permission? None. Plus, I reckon it wouldn’t only be Thais disconcerted to be poked on the noggin by a random stranger.

Assorted electrical sockets

Thailand uses multiple types of electric socket. How did that happen? Two-pin outlets are everywhere, and many hotels have three-pin outlets. You can expect A, B, C and O types and often hybrid sockets that take them all, plus F-type plugs too. Clearly the Thais themselves are confused, since A and B types are now being phased out. Perhaps Thais are being considerate to foreigners, but Australians are left stranded, since no Thai outlet safely takes our V-shaped plugs.

Expensive tuk tuks

Back in the old days, tuk tuks were the unofficial symbol of Thailand and provided quick, cheap and easy transport for visitors and locals alike. Now – in big cities and tourist destinations at least – the locals have abandoned them. How have they become more expensive than shared vans and even taxis? If you really want to take one, be sure to agree on a price first and beware common scams, including overinflated prices and detours to dodgy shops.

Paying foreigners’ prices

This practice, more often associated with former communist countries, is prevalent in Thailand. Sure, foreign tourists are taken advantage of everywhere, but in Thailand the dual pricing system extends to official entrance fees and transport tickets. Is it discrimination? A valid practice that allows Thais access to places they couldn’t otherwise afford, and have already subsidised through taxes? And is a farang (foreigner) fee at temples justified, considering Thais put money in donation boxes instead? You decide.

Love for plastic wrapping

Environmental awareness is creeping into Thai society and some plastics have been banned, but Thailand’s continued enthusiasm for plastic wrapping is inexplicable. Everything in supermarkets is enveloped in plastic. Everything dished up from street stalls comes in plastic bags or polystyrene boxes. Time to go back to the traditional banana leaf, or to high-tech, biodegradable solutions made from corn or sugarcane, grown in Thailand in abundance.

Thai tolerance

Thais are, generally speaking, wonderfully tolerant people, calm and full of smiles. Who knows why this is so, or how national characters are formed? You only need to look around at Thailand’s neighbours to see all kinds of repression, intolerance, agitation and ethnic tensions. Meanwhile Thais continue with their laissez-faire attitude – at least up to a point, although sometimes pushed to their limits by the behaviour of insensitive foreign tourists. Good for them. Be nice back.

Brian Johnston has visited Thailand at his own expense, and courtesy of the Tourism Authority of Thailand and cruise companies.