While the rest of us were considering our need to purchase a Japanese toilet during the great loo paper crisis of 2020, Virgin has revealed - as part of its historically funny April Fool's Day gags - they had a secret stash the entire time.
As oversupplied with the stuff as supermarkets are bound to be in the coming months, the ailing airline realise it is no laughing matter and have decided to put the rolls to good use by donating them to vulnerable members of the community through its partners and the Salvation Army.
The oversupply has stemmed from their grounded planes and storage facilities.
"We've all been punked enough by 2020," said Sarah Adam, Virgin Australia General Manager, Product and Customer. "On a day where the world usually anticipates what April Fool's tricks brands might play, we couldn't be happier to not be punking anyone today and spreading some toilet paper goodness to those who need it most."
Each year, Virgin passengers use enough toilet paper to stretch from Sydney to Los Angeles - a whopping 12,066 kilometres. Or, probably the equivalent to one household's Costco haul over the last few weeks.
For every toilet paper roll that's "rescued", Kleenex will match the donation.
"We're going to help the elderly, the vulnerable, medical staff, and our charity partners, by giving them the supply of toilet paper that's currently locked-up in our grounded aircraft and storage facilities throughout Australia," Adams said.
Previous pandemic-free years, on April Fool's Virgin have always found innovative new ways to trick people. in 2016, they had them believing they were introducing kickable seats for kids in a kids-only airline class. Last year they announced the launch of Virgin Australia Fly Foods, where top quality restaurant meals could be delivered to any metropolitan area in Australia. Little did they know in a year's time home delivery was going to be the only way customers were going to be eating restaurant meals.
Virgin will continue to operate a limited schedule of domestic services for the transportation of essential services, critical freight, government operations, and to support guests who may need to travel interstate for critical roles or compassionate reasons. The airline's international operations are scheduled to resume on 14 June 2020.