This was published 1 year ago
What it's really like to stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Maldives
By Brook Sabin
Buffets for breakfast, lunch and dinner can be dangerous for waistlines.Credit: iStock
I'm not a dancer, but I've found myself doing something I call the salsa of salivation.
In front of me is more than 50 dishes. On one side, we have the salad station, enough to nourish an enormous family of rabbits. To my right is a pile of carbohydrates that would keep a kunekune snorting for days. I don't know what to eat. I'm torn between health and an instant hit of happiness.
Should I head towards the salad? Or slide over to the steak fries? As I march around the buffet, beset by indecision, I start swaying my hips. I flip around and twirl over to the next dish. This is my version of dancing, and my dance partner is gluttony. If you're in any doubt, she's about to take the lead.
I've just returned from a holiday to an all-inclusive resort where I committed my fair share of deadly sins (gluttony, greed, etc). You see, I spent 14 days on an island with unlimited food - and over that time, I scoffed down 42 buffets. That's three buffets every day, for 14 days straight.
Do you want to know how seriously I took this? Well, I even timed my flights so I could arrive at the resort by 8am on the first day of my holiday. Why would I do such a thing? So I didn't miss out on the breakfast buffet.
Here are all your burning questions answered on all-inclusive resorts, including the most important of all: how much weight did I put on from eating 42 buffets?
Where did you go, and how much did it cost?
I went to the spiritual home of all-inclusive resorts: the Maldives.
Many people think it's the domain of the rich and the famous, but I stayed at a resort that was $NZ370 ($A343) a night, including all meals for two people each day.
You won't find many (if any) hotels that would offer three buffets and accommodation on a beautiful island for less than $NZ400 a night - so I thought it was a great deal. (The resort is called Kuredu - for those wondering). We stayed in the most basic accommodation, a garden bungalow, but it ended up being only a few steps from the beach.
On top of the accommodation, you also need to pay for seaplane transfers (which is $US390/$A574 per person, return) and the international airfares to get there - so the costs add up. However, it's a once-in-a-lifetime destination; so you do end up splurging.
Credit: Brook Sabin/Stuff
What was the food like?
Exceptional. Each night there was a rotating choice of over 50 different dishes, from fresh French cheese to New Zealand lamb. There was a wide selection of curries, traditional dishes like lasagne and roast potatoes, and a massive table of desserts - with everything from a chocolate fountain, to handmade ice cream and sticky toffee pudding.
Credit: Brook Sabin/Stuff
How all-inclusive is an all-inclusive resort?
It varies greatly. We had the "full board" package, which included all meals in the main buffet restaurant and only water, tea and coffee to drink.
However, there are two full all-inclusive packages you can choose from that includes drinks and activities – they cost a lot more. Always check what you're getting with 'all-inclusive' because some resorts are more generous than others.
How much weight did you put on?
This is the question most people have. I ate everything I wanted to for 42 meals – yes, that meant desserts for lunch and dinner too (28 desserts, to be precise). I ate everything from pastries to papaya, crêpes to candy and curry to corn chips.
I got home and anxiously approached the scale. It's like appearing before a judge to hear your sentence for bad behaviour.
The sentence was light: quite literally. Just one kilogram heavier.
I stood on it again, because I thought it must be wrong. One kilo for two weeks of gluttony: I'll take that.
It helped that I snorkelled several times a day, went for a semi-regular run and most days did around 13,000 steps. That's because it was a 30-minute return walk to the buffet – if you multiply that by three, you have 1.5 hours of walking.
The moral of the story is you can have a relatively guilt-free holiday if you keep moving. If I'd indulged in 42 buffets and adopted a sloth-like mentality, I think I'd be knocking on four or more kilos of unwanted personal real estate. At least I'd be bringing a slice of the Maldives home with me.
The writer paid for his own travel.
See also: Adults only: The rise of holiday spots where children are banned
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