Why Pokemon Go is the worst tour guide ever

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This was published 7 years ago

Why Pokemon Go is the worst tour guide ever

By Jayne D'Arcy
People play the Pokemon Go game at a park at Tin Shui Wai in Hong Kong.

People play the Pokemon Go game at a park at Tin Shui Wai in Hong Kong. Credit: Getty Images

There's a gym at Melbourne's GPO. You know, a place where Pokemon Go collectors can virtually get their virtual Pokemons to fight other virtual Pokemons. So you trundle off there, looking at your phone. A now-familiar hue of green reflects on your face. You're ready to fight. And explore the GPO. Except most of us know that the GPO, once Melbourne's grand post office, is now Swedish clothing giant H&M. You head inside, past security, and find yourself among the cheap clothes.

It's not what I thought would happen when I set off to tour Melbourne via Pokemon with my 11-y-o son. Instead of checking out the architecture, I checked out with a new pair of tracksuit pants for him. Though, with his head firmly in the game, I could barely get a nod of approval.

It's amazing to see Melbourne's CBD, mid-winter, dotted with smartphone-holding folk catching Pokemons. People who would usually be at home on a Saturday night are coming out in search for lures and Pokestops. International students in particular are loving it.

But are we learning anything about our surrounds? Initially you might think Pokestops, with their pictures and descriptions of local points of interest, are educational. Reality? They're boring beyond belief. Wow, the Peninsula Hot Springs (I've heard there's an uber-rare Kangaskhan here) has a "Water Mineral Analysis Plaque" Pokestop. Whoopee doo.

Indeed, if you're looking for Pokestops, you'll find yourself spinning pictures of run-of-the-mill sculptures; dumb graffiti murals, (some long since painted over); non-descript churches (I had no idea there were so many churches!) and train stations. Sure, you can play "spotto" with them (see them on the screen then look around for them in real life), but no one's doing that.

You need different environments to catch different Pokemon, so we venture from the State Library hotspot to the Yarra River to search for more water-oriented creatures. I'm pretty bemused about the Crown Casino's "Gas Brigades" when they fire up. I "ohh and ahhh" like the tourists around me. However since they weren't spawning cute monsters, my son didn't even glance up.

Apart from H&M, we're not lured into any other businesses. I'm tempted to go to Mantra on Little Bourke – a self-proclaimed "Pokemon go Friendly Hotel" - for happy hour on Friday when free Pokemon lures will be released. And we could have chosen our restaurant by its Pokemonability: some offer discounts if you've collected certain beasts. But we didn't.

We did end up walking 10km in seven hours. And I spoke to 20 people I wouldn't normally have a reason to engage with. We got tips from other Pokermonners, something that reminded me of the days when you'd trade travelling tips with other backpackers.

Thankfully, we do end up seeing more than just Pokemons. We accidentally find ourselves at the Gertrude Street Projection Festival in Fitzroy (ends Saturday 24th July). Here, people are talking to each other. They're looking up, not down. In fact, I can't see one green-lit face looking at their phone. Except my son's.

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But have I learnt anything about Melbourne that I didn't already know? Maybe that you shouldn't jump the fence of a locked park at night just to get to a Pokemon gym (not everyone's there for the same reason). It reinforced how awesome our tram system is. But that's it.

Our next travel plans? I won't be lured by the promise of Pokemons, that's for sure. However if I got addicted, I might want to hunt out the current "country exclusives" like Mr Mime (Europe), Farfetch'd (Asia) and Tauros (North America). But then again, I might just try to hatch the above from an egg. No idea what I'm talking about? It's ok, it might all be over soon.

Hints:

Take the free city circle tram (business hours only) and you'll catch heaps. It goes at just the right speed. Flagstaff Gardens, Harbour Esplanade and the gardens near the Royal Exhibition Building are big.

Pokemon-addicted folk may want to reconsider their travel plans if Pokemon Go has not yet launched in their destination. Check online for up-to-date info.

Think "tourist" when it comes to dressing for a hunt, whether local or in distant climes. What did you take/wear when you were last hitting a new city on foot?

Get a good local phone data plan if you're hunting overseas – it doesn't seem to be that data hungry but don't risk bill shock.

Get yourself a phone with a long-lasting battery. www.finder.com.au found that the Samsung galaxy S7 Edge lasts almost half a day (11.55), while the Apple iPhone 6S Plus gives you 7:48 minutes of Pokemon hunting time.

It's time to buy a portable phone charger/power bank (frequent long-haul fliers have no doubt already discovered the usefulness of these devices). Anyone who's serious about the game is also walking around with their phone plugged into one.

See also: We found out what happens when you catch every Pokemon

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