Riding high ... a rodeo star hangs on for his life.Credit: Reuters
'Do you want me to give him some juice?" asks Joe Messina. He's referring to the two tonnes of muscle I'm sitting astride. The "juice" means Messina will take off his cowboy hat and swat this thing on the head - just to annoy it.
I'm atop an enormous bull just outside Calgary, about to learn what happens to a rodeo bull-rider. Was it such a good idea to sign the extended waiver form before hopping on the animal's back? It's not so much the warning that worries me - "I am aware that the sport of bull-riding has inherent risks, dangers and hazards (nothing left out!) and injuries resulting from these risks are a common occurrence" - as the word "common".
"I s'pose so," I mumble to Messina, with less courage in my voice than I was aiming for.
He takes off his hat and gives the bull a few taps on its brow. It tosses its head back and gives a kick. Though it's hardly bucking, it still gives me a sense of its power. And the whole time the bull and I are safely inside the ranch stalls, with Messina and his mate keeping hold of me, in case they need to pull me out in a hurry.
Messina is originally from Australia and a former bull rider but these days he helps tourists get a taste of this most dangerous sport at Fantasy Adventure Bull Riding, at a ranch not far from downtown Calgary.
There's no better time to get a taste of bull riding than during the world's biggest rodeo, the Calgary Stampede. Over 10 days each July, about 1.2 million cowboy fans head to the city's stampede grounds and the city becomes a sea of Stetson hats, blue jeans and giant belt buckles.
The best cowboys and girls from around Canada and the US are here to compete in events such as bull and bronc riding, steer wrestling and wagon racing.
There's a handful of Australians competing in the bareback and saddle bronc riding events, hoping to take home a $100,000 cash prize in their event. There aren't many Australian spectators here among the daily crowd of 120,000 but when former Moree resident Anthony Bello mounts up, the commentators rustle up some support by chanting "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" over the PA. I'm pretty sure it's not just the handful of visitors from Down Under that respond with the requisite "Oi, Oi, Oi".
Bareback and saddle bronc events are dangerous, with the bucking horse doing its best to throw off the rider and perhaps give him a kicking afterwards when he's on the ground. The aim is to stay on the animal's back for eight seconds, after which judges will rate rider and horse (a horse than doesn't buck well gets a lower score and lowers the rider's score).
The riders compete several times during the stampede, hoping to build up a score high enough to place them in the Sunday Showdown and a chance at the $100,000 purse.
The competitors in the horse events are impressive - but the bull riders must be insane. The bulls are mountains of muscle, crowned by sharp horns and bad attitudes. Even with a strong fence and a few dozen metres between you and them, they are scary.
The bull riders don't get any extra points for their chosen sport. It's still eight seconds on board to achieve a score.
At first, it's difficult for the untrained eye to tell a good ride from a bad one (apart from the obvious eight-second goal). After watching for a while, though, even a newcomer can see when a bull rider has pulled off something spectacular.
The stampede dates back to 1912, when cowboy and vaudeville performer Guy Weadick (originally from Rochester, New York) staged a "Frontier Days and Cowboy Championship Contest". The second event was in 1919 and it became an annual event from 1923. The stampede has grown to become the biggest, richest rodeo event in the world, drawing up to 140,000 fans every day. The prizemoney has grown enormously - the top prize was $25 in the early days - but the crowds were always huge. In 1912, 75,000 reportedly turned out for the first stampede parade - 15,000 more than the population of Calgary at the time.
The appeal of the rodeo stemmed from the boom in ranches around Calgary - to the east of the city, the Alberta prairies stretch far and wide, flat and grassy. In the '60s, however, oil and mining became the major industries in the province. It was about this time that the stampede organisers bought a ranch to supply the event with high-quality rodeo stock.
Bulls and horses that buck aggressively are valuable commodities - and the grandstand commentators are quick to point out that the animals are well treated, despite how cranky they appear.
Back at Fantasy Adventure Bullriding, the bulls aren't quite as aggressive as those at the stampede but they're just as big. My bull becomes irritated and decides to sit down in the chute, leaving me feeling dangerously low and too far from Messina.
The affable cowboy talks me through: move into a kneeling position on the bull's back, then get back into the mounting position, with one foot either side of the chute. The bull, however, seems to have lost interest, so I hop out of the chute and let the next visitor climb aboard.
This time the bull leaps up angrily, throwing its front legs over the front of the chute. I'm terrified just watching but Messina and the young woman on the bull's back remain remarkably calm. The bull quits trying to get out and flops back down on all fours.
As dangerous as riding a bull is distracting one. This is the role of a bullfighter during the rodeo event. Unlike the brutal Spanish profession, rodeo bullfighters keep the bull's attention off the rider after he's fallen (and they all fall eventually - there is no graceful way to dismount). They used to be known as rodeo clowns - a disparaging term for such a dangerous gig - and they still wear brightly coloured outfits to attract the bull's attention. If that doesn't work, they might give the bull a tap on the horns before making a break for the railings.
There is still at least one clown here, though. One of the event commentators spends his time miked-up inside the area, usually at a safe distance from the action. He wears clown make-up and is not adverse to taking the mickey out of the competitors - particularly if they've just fallen. It's quite a contrast to the serious-minded cowboys but the commentators know the crowd is here to have fun, so if that means peppering the commentary with zany asides and the occasional bad pun, so be it.
The stampede may be down and dirty but it can still be experienced in style. Basic tickets start from as little as $C12 ($13) but the stampede grounds have several stylish dining areas, private suites and plush seats with built-in glass-holders. But whether you're in the bleachers or the expensive seats, the uniform remains the same - cowboy hats and blue jeans.
There's plenty of fun to have outside the rodeo events. The stampede is something like the Royal Melbourne or Royal Easter Show on steroids. The grounds are filled with carnival rides, beer halls and live entertainment.
Some of the biggest names in rock and country music turn up to play and this year's line-up includes Bon Jovi. There's also the nightly grandstand show, with performers aged from seven to 20 singing, dancing and wearing gaudy costumes. It hardly seems the thing to close the stampede every night after the rodeo events. However, the reality is more Cirque du Soleil than Young Talent Time, plus fireworks and extreme motocross.
After the day's events, we head to Nashville North. Still in the stampede grounds, it's a huge shed featuring live bands and bootscooting. But first we stop by one of the food stalls for some unhealthy treats. It's all deep-fried at the Stampede - there are deep-fried jelly beans, deep-fried Oreos, even, bafflingly, deep-fried Coke. We settle on deep-fried Oreos, which taste vaguely like hot doughnuts.
Outside the grounds, Calgary is pumping with wild-west action. Free pancake breakfasts are held at Fluor Rope Square, where there are parades and free entertainment and plenty of businesses kitted out in western themes.
Bars and restaurants embrace the event with themed meals and live music. We visit Buzzards Restaurant and Bar, a touristy type of place, where the waiter encourages me to try prairie oysters as an appetiser.
These are calves' testicles, minced and deep fried. I give them a go and find they are like dim sims - you know, not great but on certain days you could have a craving for them.
The waiter asks what I think , then reveals that he’s never actually tried them himself.
"But you were selling them so enthusiastically," I say, "how could you have not tried them?"
"My theory is this," he responds with a wry smile "Once you have had balls in your mouth, you’ve never not had balls in your mouth."
After riding a bull, I guess I'll chalk it up as another first.
Craig Platt travelled courtesy of Tourism Calgary and the Canadian Tourism Commission.
KNOW YOUR RODEO
Large wild-west style wagons race around the track, pulled by four horses. Before the wagon sets off, two outriders must load two barrels and poles into the back of the wagon then mount and follow on their own horses.
The rodeo's women's event — female riders must race their horses around the arena, making tight turns around barrels in a clover-leaf pattern. Each competitor rides the course alone — the best time wins.
Considered the most dangerous of rodeo sports. Cowboys must ride an angry bull bareback for eight seconds in order to receive a score from the judges.
Cowboys must stay on a bucking bronco for eight seconds to get a score from the judges. Riders must use only one hand and can't touch the horse with their free hand.
As above but without the saddle. Considered the most physically demanding rodeo sport.
A calf is let loose in the arena and chased down by a cowboy who must lasso it and tie its legs together. Best time wins.
A cowboy must jump from horseback to grab a steer by the horns and subdue it by pinning it to the ground. Best time wins.
Three under-12s try to hold a wild pony in place with a rope long enough for one of them to mount and ride for a few seconds. Usually it ends with the kids being dragged through the mud by the pony — and loving it.
FAST FACTS
Air Canada flies non-stop from Sydney to Vancouver (14hr 10min) where you change aircraft and fly to Calgary (1hr 30min). The through fare from Sydney is about $2170 and from Melbourne, using Qantas to Sydney to connect, about $2270. Fares are low season return, including tax.
The Calgary Marriott Hotel is near Rope Square and the Calgary Tower. Double rooms during Stampede from $C279 ($300) a night (weekends) and $C399 (weekdays).
This year's Calgary Stampede is on July 9-18. Seats from $C24.50, standing tickets from $C12. See cs.calgarystampede.com.
Fantasy Adventure Bull Riding is in Balzac, a 15-minute drive from Calgary. A Bull Riding 101 course costs $C173.25. See fantasyadventurebullriding.com.
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