A night in the clink has a certain appeal at Het Arresthuis in Roermond, Netherlands — especially when welcome prosecco is served on arrival.
The former jail, which dates to 1863 and reopened in 2011, maintains its original internal layout, with a central corridor of 40 suites in the former warden chambers and sports area.
Cells, of a comfortable sort, named Warden, Judge and Lawyer, each have a rain shower, wi-fi, a coffee machine and flat-screen television.
Beyond the bars there's the 15th-century St Christopher Cathedral, the 13th-century Munster Church, and Stadhuis, the city hall dating to the 1700s and conveniently situated just 15 kilometres from both Germany and Belgium.
Located on Pollartstraat 7, 6041 GC Roermond, rooms start at €110 ($136) a night, including breakfast.
Chip off the old block
Tastebuds will work overtime at Hotel Chocolat on the island of Saint Lucia in the eastern Caribbean.
Close to the old French capital, Soufriere, on the island's oldest cacao plantation, resort chefs prepare seafood and salad with cocoa flavours. Afterwards, guests partaking in the chocolate-making course can check in for cacao body exfoliation, a cacao manicure, or a cacao body detox wrap.
Six lodges have views of the Pitons, the two volcanic plugs in the World Heritage-listed area of the island.
There's an infinity black quartz pool and self-guided walks throughout the estate to work off the indulgences of the day.
Flights from New York to Saint Lucia take four hours, or three hours from Miami.
Rooms start at $US400 ($383) a night, twin share, including breakfast. See hotelchocolat.com/uk/boucan.
Luxury laid bare
With glass-walled bathrooms, guests are free to check their modesty at the door in Swissotel's 12 signature rooms at the five-star hotel on the left shore of Lake Geneva.
Reminiscent of a private spa, mosaic bathrooms at Metropole Geneva flaunt spa baths, steam showers and skincare products from home-grown herbs and essential oils.
Wallpaper by Jakob Schlaepfer, of the Silk and Embroidery Company, depicts flowers from the Alps, while rooms overlook the idyllic lake or the hotel's English garden.
We're relieved to report that not everything is in the open: toilets have a screen for privacy. Signature Rooms start at 499 Swiss francs ($505) a night, twin share.
In India, the Swissotel Goa has opened in Calangute, 16 kilometres from the state capital, Panaji.
The hotel's 135 rooms and suites, surrounded by gardens and lily ponds, are accompanied by all-day dining, adult and children's pools and a kids' club.
By the seaside, there's an exclusive club for guests on Calangute beach and the hotel is a few minutes' walk from the town's restaurants and nightlife.
Rooms start at 9323 rupees ($165) a night, twin share, including breakfast.
Send Room Service items to firstname.lastname@example.org.