As a city-slicker, I had to be taught how to wear an Akubra

I’m not usually a hat person. With my large noggin, it’s hard to find one that fits. But in 2021, I was given a brand-new Akubra and felt I should rise to the challenge of wearing this piece of iconic Australiana – the brand’s been based in Kempsey, NSW since 1972 but has existed for much longer than that – with style and grace.

My first move was to change the initial colour of the gift (naturally, I also needed a larger size). In a black Akubra, I bore an uncanny resemblance to country singer Lee Kernaghan, who had his own Akubra style released in 2008 to mark being named Australian of the Year. A sand-hued Cattleman-style Akubra suited me better.

As a city-slicker, I had no idea there were even different Akubra styles. Now, I can appreciate debates over the pros and cons of crown shapes, brim widths, bands and bows of the Coober Pedy, Riverina, Rough Rider, Territory and other models.

My second move was to start wearing the Akubra on country jaunts as though I were born to this hat-wearing caper. The hat’s first trip was to Cupitt’s Estate on the NSW South Coast where winemaker Wally Cupitt obligingly snapped a photo of me wearing it while sampling wine in his subterranean cellar. Things didn’t get messy so the Akubra came home in pristine condition. I tossed it into the car for another trip to Berry and Shoalhaven Heads. It didn’t acquire any character then either.

It was a case of third time lucky. I recently flew to Uluru for the launch of Wintjiri Wiru – the permanent drone show telling an ancient Anangu story. Afterwards, my Akubra and I headed back to Ayers Rock Resort on the bus for the after-party. My seat neighbour, Kaltukatjara (Docker River) man Steve Trindle, and I continued chatting over canapés until, finally, he couldn’t take any more of my Akubra crimes.

“Can I please do something?” he said, reaching for my hat. Coaxing a downward curl into its front brim, he told me to store it upside down, on its crown, when not in use and to wear it a little higher on my forehead (I had it pulled down low, to my eyebrows, much like Smokey the Bear). Over the next few days, gusts of desert wind occasionally blew it onto the red sand and I didn’t dust it off. At last, my Akubra looks like it’s living a life.