Oceania Cruises' Marina review: A Baltic Sea voyage with Gatsby flair

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Oceania Cruises' Marina review: A Baltic Sea voyage with Gatsby flair

By Keith Austin
Updated
The Marina is what is known as a small luxury ship, with a passenger capacity of 1238 (half the size of the Titanic).

The Marina is what is known as a small luxury ship, with a passenger capacity of 1238 (half the size of the Titanic).

"Bummel" is not a word one comes across much but, after spending 10 days gadding about the Baltic Sea on the good ship Marina with Oceania Cruises, I do believe it's worthy of a wider audience.

Many people will have heard of (if not read) Jerome K. Jerome's comic novel Three Men in a Boat (published 1889), but few will know there was a sequel called Three Men on the Bummel.

Three Men in a Boat is the tale of a disastrous boating holiday on the Thames while the sequel brings the trio back on a bicycle tour through Germany.

First impressions? If you squint hard enough there's a touch of the Great Gatsby about the place.

First impressions? If you squint hard enough there's a touch of the Great Gatsby about the place.

Bummel, it is explained by the narrator, is a journey wherein, "We nod and smile to many as we pass; with some we stop and talk awhile; and with a few we walk a little way. We have been much interested, and often a little tired. But, on the whole, we have had a pleasant time, and are sorry when it's over".

Which pretty much sums up my feelings when the Marina moors in Stockholm, the Swedish capital, at the end of its Northern Realms cruise and we are forced to disembark. Behind us lie Copenhagen (our starting point, in Denmark), Kiel (Germany), Bornholm (Denmark), Visby (Sweden), Klaipeda (Lithuania), Riga (Latvia), Tallin (Estonia), Helsinki (Finland), Kotka (Finland) and memories of a whole heap of salted herring, pigs' tongue, reindeer meat and smoked salmon soup. And that's without the five-star food on the ship itself.

After the Atlantic Ocean swerves its way past Norway and Sweden and negotiates the peninsula of Jutland and the archipelago of 443 islands that make up modern Denmark, it becomes the Baltic Sea. Roughly 1600 kilometres long and 193 kilometres wide, it is bordered by Estonia, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Russia, and Sweden.

The Marina moors in Stockholm, the Swedish capital, at the end of its Northern Realms cruise.

The Marina moors in Stockholm, the Swedish capital, at the end of its Northern Realms cruise.

Naturally, we give Russia a miss – though the shore excursion to the city of Kotka, on the Gulf of Finland, does bring us within spitting distance of Vladimir Putin (there are street signs in the town pointing to St Petersburg, just a 270-kilometre tank ride away).

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Northern Realms might sound a bit Game of Thrones-like but, oddly, none of the places we visit has hosted either GoT or House of the Dragon, the prequel currently doing the rounds. I say odd because if you were going to blow up a medieval village or township with a fire-breathing dragon, these would be the places to start.

The Marina is what is known as a small luxury ship, with a passenger capacity of 1238 (half the size of the Titanic), a length of 87 metres and a tonnage of 66,084. It was "born" in 2011 and is going in for a well-earned facelift in 2023.

I don't know about you but when I get on one of these ships my first impulse is to run around my accommodation (penthouse suite, dontcha know, with accompanying butler) touching everything and turning the lights on and off before rushing out to the public areas and getting a deck-by-deck lay of the land.

First impressions? If you squint hard enough there's a touch of the Great Gatsby about the place. And not the anaemic 1974 version with Robert Redford but the all-singing, all-dancing Baz Luhrmann glitz and glamour extravaganza from 2013.

Mainly, it's the fault of the two elevators that face the pool area as they ascend. Every time they open to reveal their silver-and-black geometric floor designs and art deco-style, I am surprised Leonardo DiCaprio isn't standing there in a dinner jacket, insouciantly proffering a glass of Krug or a very dry martini. Very disappointing, that.

The Marina is a slice of old-world elegance and sophistication that nods subtly to a bygone era but with plenty of 21st century technology thrown in for good measure. This gracefully understated style is seen in the two-storey Lalique Grand Staircase amidships, the attentive service of the white-gloved waiters in the Grand Dining Room, the leather chesterfield armchairs in the cosy library and the use of wood panelling and bevelled mirrors.

Some details of the public areas are looking a little careworn – the wonderful but peeling silver bling and rhinestone barstools in the casino's funky, purple-lit bar are a case in point – but next year's upgrade will no doubt take care of that.

There's a spa and a gym, of course, and a handful of fine-dining restaurants where you can set fire to all the work you just did in the spa and the gym. And you will, trust me.

Worst of the lot, to my mind, is Red Ginger, a sultry, red-and-gold pan-Asian opium den on Deck 5. And by that, I mean best of the lot - and an opium den only in that it's easy to get hooked. I ate everywhere at least once but headed to Red Ginger a second time to make sure I got outside the spicy duck and watermelon salad I'd heard so much about. And this was on a night I was booked to dine in the Grand Dining Room as well.

Though this pales in comparison to the day I took a cooking class - gravlax and cucumber salad, Copenhagen-style crispy pork, Helsinki-inspired cinnamon bun cakes – ate the lot and then headed straight to dinner in Toscana, the posh Italian on deck 14 (lobster pasta which didn't touch the sides).

There was, earlier in the voyage, a Wellness Event in the gym called "Secrets to a Flatter Stomach". I didn't go because I was trying the smoked salmon soup on the quay in Helsinki, after which it seemed rude to pass up the Lapland-style reindeer plate and follow that up with dessert of a reindeer hot dog.

Among all this excess there was also a bit of stopping and looking at stuff and places. Every day, in fact. This isn't one of those cruises where you get an enforced Day at Sea to do nothing or perhaps learn about acupuncture or play bridge or discover the secrets to a flatter stomach. No, we are on the bummel, after all.

Of course you don't have to get off the ship – and you could easily give Kiel a miss if man-made canals aren't your thing – but when would you get to see this many Baltic/Nordic states in such a short time, and so easily?

Colourful Ronne on the island of Bornholm is a delight (there's a castle, of course) and, in Latvia, Riga's old town is not only frighteningly charming but also throws up a sun-shaded bar with a cornucopia of local beers, moose meat served in a tin and a local speciality of deep-fried grey pea balls.

The highlight, though, has to be the UNESCO World Heritage Site of Visby in Sweden. Beautifully preserved, the vibrant town centre is encircled by a three-and-a-half kilometre-long and largely intact medieval wall.

At any time it would be extraordinary but we are lucky enough to arrive during Medieval Week (the 32nd week of the year), when people dress in medieval garb, camp outside the walls, and generally live an authentic medieval life. Started in 1984 it has grown into a cool, fun-filled extravaganza featuring medieval fayres, markets, jousting tournaments, archery, and sword fights.

That night I dine at Jacques, Marina's up-market French restaurant, and as amazing as my Provencal roasted lamb loin is, there's a part of me hankering for a whole haunch of venison and mead served in one of those Norse drinking horns.

THE DETAILS

CRUISE

Cruises similar to the Northern Realms itinerary are available in 2023 and 2024. Oceania Cruises' 10-day Scandinavian Summer cruise departs London on June 21, 2023, aboard Marina. It visits Skagen (Denmark), Kiel and Berlin (Germany), Bornholm (Denmark), Visby, Stockholm and Karlskrona (Sweden), Copenhagen (Denmark) and ends in Oslo (Norway) on July 1. From $5390 a person for a Deluxe Ocean View stateroom. Price includes all speciality restaurant dining, free fitness classes and 24-hour room service. Until September 21 Oceania Cruises has an offer which includes a free category upgrade, free pre-paid gratuities and one of the following: six free shore excursions, a free house beverage package or $US600 worth of shipboard credit (per stateroom). See oceaniacruises.com

MORE

traveller.com.au/cruises

September marks Cruise Month for Cruise Lines International Association (CLIA) celebrating the return to cruising in Australia, New Zealand and around the world. See cruising.org.au

Keith Austin travelled as a guest of Oceania Cruises.

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